control

All posts tagged control

Am I a Sadist?

Posted by Lady M on April 27, 2014
Posted in: Bondage, Breath Control, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 6 comments

Sadist (sey-dist):
noun

1. a person who… receives sexual gratification from causing pain and degradation to another.

2. a person who enjoys being cruel.

So under the actual definition of a sadist, I am far from one. I do not enjoy causing pain or being cruel nor do I get anything remotely close to sexual gratification from it. Quite the opposite actually.

I’ve noticed that one thing Male Chastity has done for us is to open up communication and sexual exploration. We have experimented with the idea of things – usually through a good ear whispering mindfuck and found “Wow, that really turned me on!” That then kicks in my desire to research and explore that thing.

What I’ve found out recently is that I really (really, really, really!) love control. I’m not talking about controlling orgasms, I’m talking about controlling something at a much deeper level. I’m talking about having someone completely helpless and vulnerable. Well that’s easy, right? Just bind someone up, handcuffs or rope work great. Yeah, you’re right, that’s pretty fantastic. I’m finding that I do really like rope and bondage but I’m talking even deeper than that! I’m talking about having someone completely helpless and vulnerable at my own hands.

Let me try to explain it this way. I, kind of on accident, slid my hand up and around cagedmonkey’s throat. He got this incredible look of fear in his eyes, he gasped and a slight moan escaped his lips. That reaction caused me to squeeze just a little tighter and push up further under his chin. I leaned in and kissed him so deep and he let out a whimpering moan. I had him in my hands, at my will, he could barely kiss me back because I had such a strong dominant hold on his neck and jaw. I wasn’t choking him, he could breathe but I was close enough that the fear was there. The fear that I could easily lean into my grip and crush his trachea.

You may be wondering how I found out that I like this. That’s simple, just as I leaned in to give him that kiss I got such an intense jolt shoot through the middle of my body. It literally was a jolt of pleasure that shot up the center of me from my crotch up into my chest. It was so strong that it caused me to buck my hips, arch my back and let out a very throaty moan. Over the next minute or so I felt my body twitching and lurching, muscles tightening… wait a minute, I’m sure you know that feeling. To put it simply, having my husband in that vulnerable position and him reacting that way caused me to spontaneously orgasm. I was not being touched in a sexual way. I was merely straddling him like I always do.

Through our play we’ve already discovered I enjoy breath play and I knew I kinda liked it when I would hold cagedmonkey down. Pinning him to the mattress with my hands or my knees and using my own body and weight to hold him down against his will. We haven’t exactly explored that deeply but after this recent discovery, I’m positive we will.

At first I was very surprised at myself and maybe even a little scared that I would like something like this. I don’t know why I would like it, how could I like it? It so not right, not something a normal person would enjoy. What is wrong with me? Well, one thing that communication with cagedmonkey has done is given me someone to talk to about those feelings. Someone to tell me it’s ok to enjoy something with another consenting adult. There doesn’t have to be an explanation or reason for liking it. We decided awhile back, in exploring these things, that we would stop asking or worrying about why. We would just go with what felt good… as long as we both felt good doing it.

I do believe a spontaneous orgasm would be the classic definition of “sexual gratification” from something. I’m content accepting the fact that I have this “fetish” but what exactly IS this fetish? I do not feel this fits what a sadist is but rather my fetish is about complete control over someone, down to the most basic of needs… like breathing.

Is there a name that describes this intense sexual gratification from control?

Conversations in Chastity: It’s Tough For Us Keyholders, Too!

Posted by cagedmonkey on April 15, 2014
Posted in: Conversations, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

Lady M: I can’t get enough of feeling your body, touching you all over.

cagedmonkey: I love the way you touch me.

LM: I want to touch you all over. I miss your cock.

cm: Yeah, about that… can I ask you something out-of-role?

LM: Sure, baby. What’s up?

cm: It seems like lately you’ve been really missing my cock… I’d say almost as much as I do, but that’s pretty much impossible. But I’m getting the vibe that it’s starting to take its toll on you too. Do you want my help with finishing the whole month you planned to have me locked 24/7? If you start to break down, do you want me to remind you?

LM: I’ll be okay. When I tell you that I miss you cock, I’m just expressing myself. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t miss it.

cm: Good, I don’t want you to pretend. I also kinda like it that you miss it.

LM: Right. See, I can’t play that “hard ass Domme” role like I don’t want your hard cock. This stuff is hard on me too, you know.

cm: I know, but I need to know how bad you want this. Because I obviously want out of the cage, and if you start getting weak I can’t guarantee what I’ll try to talk you into it. But if you REALLY want this to happen, I’ll try my best not to push it. We may need to work together when we try to stretch to new limits.

LM: I do want to make it. I will let you know if I need your help. It’s only a few weeks, I should be able to make it.

cm: You say “only a few weeks” as if it’s not that much time. To me, it’s “a few weeks!”

LM: Only a few weeks until I get to wrap my hand around that big fat cock of yours.

cm: Mmmmm, I love it when you describe it like that!

LM: Well, it is big and fat… but only when I allow it to be.  😉

The Man Without a Penis

Posted by cagedmonkey on April 14, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 3 comments

A few nights ago, My Lady and I were laying on the couch together, and things started to get sexual… as they very often do nowadays. 🙂 We began kissing and touching each other; things started to get really hot, really quick. I rolled over on top of ML and began thrusting my hips towards her as I kissed her deeply. All of a sudden, both of us felt it at the same time: we flipped the “power switch.” All of a sudden, I felt very dominant and powerful over ML.

When I get dominant, I tend to talk dirty a lot. I rubbed up on her, and I started asking her if she wanted to get fucked. If she missed taking my hard cock deep inside her slutty wet pussy. ML was getting turned on, too, pushing back up against me as I pushed my hips down against her. I pounded my hips down on her, doing everything I would be doing if I was fucking her pussy as hard as I could… except for the fact that my cock was still locked in its steel cage, of course.

Afterwards, I started to get a little down. All of the simulating of the dominant, forceful sex kinda made me miss it a bit. I realized that I really do miss my cock. I miss being able to fuck My Lady hard and deep. I miss the way ML’s warm pussy feels when it’s squeezing my cock. I miss being able to fuck ML more than three thrusts at a time. Hell, right now I just miss my cock getting hard!!!

I didn’t expect these feelings to show up so strong and so soon into the 24/7 month. I’ve gone 24/7 longer than this, but not with the pretense that I would be waiting an entire month for my next full erection. It’s really getting to me this time around. I’m not really having second thoughts about all of this – chastity is still the most amazing thing that has happened to our sex life, and I wouldn’t change it a bit. But still, I can’t deny that right now a decent part of me truly feels like a prisoner locked away against his will. This is when chastity truly becomes “enforced chastity.”

Sentenced to the Jailbird

Posted by cagedmonkey on April 8, 2014
Posted in: Chastity Device, Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

So the HUGE piece of news I teased in my last post was already spoiled by ML in her last post, unbeknownst to me: My Lady has decided to keep me in the Jailbird 24/7 until the May 4th. No removing the cage. Not even a cursory release for my poor cock. I will be locked up for the next 26 days straight.

624 hours.

37,440 minutes.

2,246,400 second.

Not like I’m counting or anything.

My Lady and I have talked about trying this for quite some time. When we were discussing it, it really turned me on. How would I respond to not having an erection for an entire month? How will I feel after it’s been so long since I’ve seen my cock get hard? How will it feel when my cock is finally free of the steel and can swell to its full size?

Now that it’s happening, it’s a little bit overwhelming. Although ML has caved in the past and given me mercy during some of these “extended” times or denial or lockup, I have a feeling she’s not going to crack so easily this time. She’s very curious about the reactions she can coax out of me. If I start getting desperate, she may just grow to love it. Who knows? Maybe I won’t even be getting out until my next Maybe Day in June? No clue. No control over it.

Right now, I’m a little stunned. I know for a fact I’m really going to miss my hardon. I like it when my cock gets hard. It feels nice. I’ve come to enjoy the feeling of my cock pressing against the steel cage, but it doesn’t compare to the feeling of my cock getting nice and thick and big when I’m turned on. The longest we’ve ever done a 24/7 lockup stint is ten days I think, and I started to get a little antsy near the end of that time. I went into what ML likes to call “bargaining mode,” which is when I start to try to make a deal with her in order to get just the tiniest need filled. For example, near the end of that ten day period, I was literally begging ML to give me a ruined orgasm, just so she’d let me out and touch me. Again: I begged My Lady to give me an utterly frustrating ruined orgasm just because I needed to get hard and be touched. This was after ten days. I wonder what My Lady will have me doing by the end of this run.

Dark Desires

Posted by cagedmonkey on March 14, 2014
Posted in: Anal, Bondage, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

As far as fetishes and kinks go, male chastity can be very diverse. Many things can be added to or augmented to chastity; no two experiences will be exactly the same. What I’ve found is that chastity has opened up many different areas of kink to My Lady and me. There are things we thought we’d never try that we found were a huge turn on for both of us.

Last night at work, ML and I were having one of our “remember when” discussions about  the time she fulfilled my rape fantasy. I was amazed at how incredible the experience was, and how much I enjoyed it… after the fact, of course! As we were talking, we began to brainstorm about how to take it to the next step. As we were considering a lengthier scene, ML writes me the following text:

“Not too tough with enough time to spread it out. Like being kidnapped, kept, and repeatedly raped, hehe.”

My jaw literally dropped.

And my cage immediately got tighter.

What a GREAT IDEA!!!!!

We spent the next two hours, tossing around ideas for how to draw it out, including but not limited to: sending the kids to a multi-day camp, so she could abuse me over the course of days; cuffing me in various positions in various places around the house; blindfolding me, and using a variety of toys on me without warning; fucking my ass with the strap on, or toys of her choosing as I lick her pussy; leaving me restrained while she goes to rest, returning later to continue her assault; riding my cock while shoving a dildo up my ass; keeping the tease up while the kids are home, sneaking into the kitchen when I’m alone and roughly fingering my ass, giving me no place to hide; and so on.

Needless to say, my cock was trying its best to get hard. In vain, of course, pushing against the walls of the Revenge. But DAMN, was it hot. It was turning us both on! I have a feeling this will happen sometime in the future. 

It really is amazing that My Lady and I can discuss these dark desires with each other, without worrying about how the other will react. We made a promise to each other when we started this to be honest and open about any fantasies we have, no matter how out there they may seem. How else would we know if we liked something or not without trying it first?

I know all you guys out there always say that I’m the luckiest guy in the world, and I really am…. but not for the reasons you think. It’s not because My Lady locks up my cock for weeks on end, denying me orgasm until I’m insane with need, teasing me mad until I’m about to explode. It’s because I have a partner who loves me, respects me, and cares for me enough to allow me to trust her with anything and everything that is inside me without fear. And she has the same thing in me. THAT is why I’m so lucky.

Ok, I won’t deny it… I’m pretty lucky for those other reasons, too. 🙂

See No Penis, Feel No Penis

Posted by cagedmonkey on March 13, 2014
Posted in: Bondage, Chastity Device, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

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Now that I have had time to grow accustomed to the enclosed style of the Revenge, My Lady has decided to step things up to the next level. She wants me to truly feel as if my cock has been isolated from myself. What does this mean for me?

It means I won’t get to touch or even see my cock again until My Lady allows it.

We have talked about this for a while, and it’s a very exciting idea for both of us. My cock will stay locked in the Revenge, out of touch and out of sight (the Jailbird’s open style allowed me to see and touch my cock, just not get hard). When ML wants to take her toy out and play, or removes the device to perform shaving/cleaning/other types of maintenance, I will be blindfolded and cuffed or otherwise restrained. There will not be a moment when my cock is out and my hands and eyes are free, and vice versa.

(Caveat: My Lady is going to do her best to fulfill this, but due to her shoulder still not being 100% she may need a minimal amount of help from me. The spirit of the idea will still be followed as much as possible)

I really don’t know how I’m going to be affected by this.

These rules have only been in effect for the last day or so, so it hasn’t had a chance to really set in yet. ML hasn’t had to remove the cage yet, so I haven’t had a “see no penis, feel no penis” episode so far. But when that first one comes, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be mind blowing. Will I feel like it’s not even mine anymore, since I can’t see it or touch it? My Lady will truly be in control of my cock during that time, and I will fully depend on her for any sensation I would receive.

How bad will it get? My Lady knows I have a tendency to try bargaining when I’m really desperate. Will I begin to bargain just for a glimpse of my cock? What will I be willing to give up for it?

I can’t wait to find out!

Desperate for Pleasure

Posted by cagedmonkey on March 5, 2014
Posted in: Chastity Device, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

I’m currently well into my third week of orgasm denial, and My Lady is really starting to hit her stride. The more desperate and needy I get, the more she enjoys teasing me. And the more she teases me, the more desperate and needy I get. And the more desperate and needy I get…

ML gave me a thorough teasing last night, testing the strength of the Revenge in the process (stay tuned for a device review, coming soon!). She cuffed my hands to the bed, which she said made her start getting wetter almost instantly. She really does love to restrain me! It gives her the opportunity to completely control me as she drives me crazy with need. With my hands secured, she began to tease me with her perfect tits, pulling in close to me but keeping her cleavage just out reach of my tongue. I could smell her scent and it drove me wild. She rubbed her nipples over my lips, making it clear I was NOT allowed to lick or suck them. She even stuck her nipples into my mouth, making me moan and wish she would let me suck on them.

She got off of me and reached into our “toybox” to get the nipple clamps. She put them on my nipples, and I had to breathe to fight past the initial sharp pain. When she tugged on the chain lightly, I could feel the surges of pain translating into pulses of an attempted erection in my cock. I was already throbbing in my cage, and ML wasn’t even near finished with me.

She took her magic wand – which is ALWAYS plugged in now, by the way – placed it under my balls, and turned it on. My body jumped and lurched as the vibrations shook me to the core. I couldn’t help but move my hips in small fucking motions, my body desperately searching for some sort of orgasm after being denied for so long. The vibrating continued as ML climbed on top of me to put those hip motions to good use.

My Lady took the cage inside her and began fucking her pussy with it. I couldn’t believe it – I couldn’t feel a thing! I had to ask her if I was inside! The steel tube of the Revenge cut off all sensation and contact with my cock. It was so unfair to watch ML take her orgasm after all of the ones she’s been having lately, while I was denied even the pleasure of feeling her warm wet pussy on my cock. I whimpered and began to pull my hands up, wanting to touch her, squeeze her tits, hold her close to me, get ANY sensation I could to fill the void that the Revenge created.

When My Lady came while riding me, my body tried as hard as it could to join her. Obviously, without any sensation on my cock the efforts were futile, but my muscles still tensed up and my hips lurched upwards as if the rest of my body didn’t care. My body needs to cum so badly that it is trying to do so on it’s own now, apparently. 🙂

After her orgasm, My Lady climbed off of me and began to massage my entire body, focusing on my legs and feet. Her fingers pressed deep on my muscles, and my body responded with more of the tense squeezing as before. I would have curled up into a ball if I wasn’t spread out and cuffed to the bed. Instead, my arms tugged against the restraints as the rest of my body trembled and shook uncontrollably.

Finally, ML removed the wand from under my balls. I breathed a sigh of relief, but then I realized what she was doing. I moaned loudly as she laid back next to me, spread her legs wide (draping one over my stomach, even) and began rubbing her pussy with the wand. She moaned louder and louder as I heard the sounds of her wetness being vibrated by the wand. Then, she took the wand and pushed the vibrating head into her pussy! “Oh, fuck,” was all I could say as she fucked the wand, moving her hips up to meet it in mid-thrust. Then she began alternating between rubbing her pussy lips and clit with the wand, until she began to cum, loudly and intensely.

I’m not kidding, My Lady rode her orgasm for about two solid minutes before she slumped down and relaxed on the bed. The entire time she was struggling to hold back her screams of passion (barely succeeding), and I could see her thigh muscles pulsing and tensing up with each orgasmic jolt. I was equal parts happy for her and jealous, wanting a body-racking intense orgasm of my own to enjoy.

That feeling has been creeping up a lot lately – envy. I’m envious of My Lady for being able to cum at any and all times of the day, whenever she desires, and as intensely as she does as well. She gets more than her fill of it, while my body sits and waits for its chance. I hunger for my orgasm. My balls constantly feel swollen and sensitive, itching for the chance to drain themselves of weeks of backed up cum. These feelings force me to contemplate my denied state every minute of the day without one moment of reprieve. I don’t see how this feeling could get any more difficult for me to deal with than it is right now.

The reaction I had while tied up and teased has been more and more frequent – I call them “bodygasms,” although the more proper term is most likely “sympathetic orgasms.”  It’s really crazy, feeling my body behave like in that way and having no power to control or stop it. I can only assume that my brain and the rest of my body is tired of waiting and is making it’s own “body-gasms” and leaving my cock behind. I can’t blame them; I’d cum any way I could right now if it were plausible.

The Conflicting Feelings of a Chaste Hubby

Posted by cagedmonkey on February 7, 2014
Posted in: Anal, Bondage, Sex, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 7 comments

My Lady and I were texting each other last night while I was at work, and the conversation wandered to the topic of sensory deprivation. You see, ML has been doing some research in that area, specifically sensory deprivation hoods. And when ML starts doing research, you know that she’s getting serious about it.

She began to text me some of the ideas that have been popping up in her head, and I couldn’t help but get turned on (which made my cock strain against the cage rather strongly). Here are just a few examples of the texts she sent me:

  • “like putting your hands in mittens behind your back, making you kneel on the floor hooded”
  • “I could open only the gag and make you choke on my dildo”
  • “I could take off the blindfold with my pussy right in your face while I cum”
  • “Put a dildo in your ass and make you sit on it while I fuck your mouth with mine”
  • “So if I told you I could put the hood on and use the face dildo as the gag piece instead and fuck your sensory deprived face, how would that make you feel?”

How would it make me feel?

Those sound like horrible, terrible things to have to endure. I don’t know if I could take it.

How would it make me feel?

I need to experience this.

That’s how it makes me feel. I can imagine myself in the moment, wanting it to end so badly, wondering why and how I got myself into this, suffering in pain and frustration. Yet it’s undeniable – I want it to happen. When I read those texts – and even now as I retype them – I get a tightness in my chest that says to me, “Oh. My. God. I NEED THIS.”

It’s scary and confusing to have these types of feelings – to want something you don’t want to happen happen, so badly. But honestly, that’s pretty much what chastity is. I’m sitting here with my cock locked in a steel cage with no way to get out on my own, and I desperately want to cum. But I want to be like this – desperate for release, yet powerless to facilitate that release, completely dependent on My Lady for any and all sources of sexual pleasure. I trust My Lady with my life; I know she will protect me and keep me safe, even when she is putting me through hell just because she can and she wants to. It speaks to my devotion to her how badly I want this to happen, even though I don’t want this to happen.

Now I’m left wondering just when she plans on putting these things in motion…

Bad to the Boner

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 31, 2014
Posted in: Chastity Device, KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 3 comments

My Lady recently posted on a common dilema that keyholders face: do they want their sub to be so desperate that he will disobey his domme? It’s a very interesting take, and I completely understand where she is coming from.  Speaking for myself, I’m not the type to go against my keyholder. I absolutely LOVE being subjected to her desires, servicing her needs, and partaking in her pleasure. Nothing turns me on more than pleasing My Lady. I would probably need some sort of signal from her to indicate her mood, otherwise I would most likely obey her to the ends of the earth. After all, isn’t that what I got into this for?

I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I never really understood the purpose of an “anti-pullout” feature on a chastity device. I get the idea of increased security leading to a more complete chastity experience, but an anti-pullout device really shouldn’t be necessary. First of all, if you need to be prevented from pulling out that badly, you’re going to find another way to get out of your cage. Even the best designed anti-pullout can be defeated with a little determination… and a fair bit of pain, I would assume! Second of all, if you need to be prevented from pulling out that badly, it probably means that you aren’t ready for the realities of giving over complete control in a chastity situation. Nobody out there has “accidentally” slipped out of their cage; it’s a deliberate action to disobey your keyholder.

Why would a man in chastity want to purposefully disobey his keyholder? In my opinion, these are guys who are still trying to cling to some sense of control over their situation – “topping from the bottom,” as it were. These are the guys who tell their keyholder what they want to have done to them, and throw a tantrum when they don’t get it. These are the guys who lock themselves in a device without the request of their keyholder.  They aren’t ready to hand over full and complete control to their keyholder.

And you know what? It’s okay! It’s okay if you are one of those guys. Nobody should enter a full, indefinite chastity lifestyle (like the one My Lady and I live) without considering their true feelings about being powerless. Communication between the sub and keyholder about these feelings is important so both can find common ground to start on. If you don’t start off on the same page, resentment can build in the relationship. And resentment is a total turnoff.

I’m a Good Boy

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 9, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

As you may have read in an earlier post, My Lady recently had shoulder surgery that has left her with pretty much only one functional arm for the next few weeks. I’ve been waiting on her hand and foot (and toes!) for a couple of days now; it has been rough working so hard for her, but thing are settling into a groove. She is starting to feel better, as well as slowly returning to her “insatiably horny and wet all day every day” status. 🙂

Over the past few days, I have realized that I truly am at peace when I am serving ML. Sexual service is obviously more exciting, however serving her in non-sexual ways also gives me an energy from within. Most importantly,  I thrive on her feedback; it was rough going when she was in pain and feeling terrible, but it is getting better as her mood is improving. I live to hear those words “such a good boy” escape those sexy lips.

I have spent most of the past week unlocked, however I have still been denied an orgasm (still cum-less in 2014!). As ML’s physical comfort has allowed, I have been pleasing her with my tongue, hands, and also with my cock. She has mentioned on quite a few occasions that I feel exceptionally large this week. While I’m not the type to figure out exactly why I’m receiving these AWESOME comments – what guy doesn’t want to hear they have a huge cock? – it may be due to the fact that the frequency of penetrative sex has been less leading up to now. All bragging aside, I have somehow managed to hold myself off from cumming during this time. I can’t count how many times I’ve WANTED to shoot my load of cum deep in her wet warm pussy, but so far I’ve been that “good boy” that I strive to be.

What exactly makes some of us sub males so dedicated to our keyholders that we are willing to be SO committed to our chastity and orgasm denial? Why do some men need anti-pullout features on their chastity devices, while others can fuck their KH without going over the edge?

I can’t speak for everyone, but for me it’s that I am fully focused on My Lady’s pleasure. She gets off on the control she has over me, and I get off on her controlling me. I know that she would be extremely disappointed if I were to cum without permission (unless she forced me to, but that’s a different story). For me, it’s about giving My Lady what she desires. And what she desires is a man who will allow himself to be denied indefinitely until she wants to please him, and who will serve her every need until that moment occurs.

She wants a good boy. And I want that to be me. 🙂