conversation

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Conversations: Matching Needs

Posted by cagedmonkey on May 21, 2019
Posted in: Conversations, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Pictures. Tagged: , , , , . 5 comments

CM: The other day, when I was putting my cage on while getting dressed for work, it occurred to me how lucky I am that I have a wife that enjoys doing this whole chastity thing with me…

LM: Why do you feel you are lucky? When I think about it, I feel like I’m the lucky one. I have a husband who enjoys being locked in chastity for me. 🙂

CM: I don’t know… I mean, we could have ended up being your garden variety vanilla couple; but instead, you keep my cock locked in a steel chastity cage and I love it. Not that being a vanilla couple would be horrible – our sex is absolutely incredible just by itself! But the chastity and orgasm denial add elements to our sex life that make it so much more complex and exciting.

LM: I completely agree… I love our sex life and without chastity it would still be amazing. For me, the chastity adds such an amazing element. I love having you locked all the time because it’s a physical reminder of.. Basically ME, all day long. If w didn’t do this it would still be great but I love the added bonus that chastity is. I just love that it makes you think of me! Do you feel like it’s a reminder, too, of me and my control, all the time?

CM: I do, although I would probably be thinking of you all the time anyway… especially when you send me pics at work like this:

LM: Hehe… yeah, pics of my boobs will do that to you.

CM: Yes, pics like that definitely keep them in my mind. But yeah, I would probably be thinking of you because I’m just that horny for you, anyways. I think what makes the chastity and orgasm denial special from my standpoint is the fact that YOU choose to have this cage on me. I wear the chastity cage for you – when you want me to wear it, which one I wear – these are all decisions that YOU make. And the fact that you are making these decisions show me that you are consciously thinking about me and my cock, and it shows that these things are important to you.

LM: They are definitely important to me. If someone were to ask me why I have you in a cage or what I get out of it, I think it seriously comes down to the fact that I’m through and through a cocktease… and I mean that lovingly! It’s the best way I can describe it. I love that you are always thinking about and wanting me, thinking about and wanting my control and just physical FEELING something that reminds you of that is awesome. For someone else that could simply be a wedding ring… And for us that is part of it. I would be uncomfortable without my wedding ring… The chastity cage, for me, is an extension of our connection with each other… It’s just a connection to the sexual side, I guess. I love that I’m the one that chooses if, when and how you wear it. I choose if you feel that tightness when getting hard if I tease you either in person or by pics when we are apart. It’s just… Awesome! 🙂

CM: And I need to know that you are choosing to be sexual with me in this way – I know that when you tease me when I’m locked up, it’s because you want me to be so frustrated and want you so badly. And I know that when you unlock me, it’s because you want my cock out so you can play with it and tease it. I need that attention from you, and the chastity puts a spotlight on just how much attention you are giving me. I think I’d hate it if you just locked me and didn’t give me any attention; I need to know that you want me and desire me for your sexual pleasure.

LM: I definitely do, and that’s why I unlock you when I do – because I want to play with you!

Conversations in Chastity: Strength Comes From Within

Posted by cagedmonkey on May 23, 2014
Posted in: Conversations, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 1 comment

cagedmonkey: So…….. can I cum yet? 🙂

Lady: Uhhh, no love, it’s just not time for that. Especially when you’re at work.

cm: Of course. Why do I even ask? lol

Lady: Hoping one time I’ll actually say yes? 😉

cm: I guess so, although I have a hard time believing you will say yes. There have been times recently where you were so horny I thought you might cave in, but you didn’t. If you didn’t give in during those times, I doubt you’ll ever give in to me early.

Lady You’re right, I’ve become much stronger than in the beginning. At first I was still in the “need to please him” phase even if I didn’t think I was. Deep down I didn’t want to frustrate you, upset you, etc. It just caused me to be weak to your pleas.

cm: Now it seems like it’s the exact opposite – the more I beg and plead, the more you enjoy it and the harder you push me!

Lady It must be bittersweet that I’ve become so strong, huh?

cm: Honestly, I couldn’t be happier. I know that I can be honest with you about how I feel (sooooo frustrated!!!) and what I want (to cum sooooo bad!!!!), and not worry about influencing you or topping from the bottom. You truly are in full control, and I’m very lucky to serve a dominant with such a strong sense of what she wants.

Lady You are a lucky boy! Hehe 🙂 It wasn’t hard after awhile to embrace the frustration and let it entertain me. Once I was able to almost laugh at your situation, I began to really get enjoyment out of your frustration. I started enjoying the control of making you so incredibly horny for me. I just love getting you to that point where you HAVE to touch me just to feel my skin… because you’re THAT horny.

cm: And I definitely am that horny! Speaking of which…… can I cum now?

Lady No :)~

cm: Damn…..

Mail Chastity – Your Questions

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 24, 2014
Posted in: Advice, Chastity Device, Mail Chastity, Male Chastity, Medical. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

Time again for another round of “Mail Chastity” where we tackle the topics that are on your mind. As always, these are real questions from real readers. Feel free to email us with any questions you may have; your question just may be featured in our next Mail Chastity post!

Click on the contact page in the top left corner for email info, or simply just to see a great pic of My Lady’s beautiful breasts perfectly framing the key to my chastity cage.  😉

Q: Are there any medical concerns involved with being locked up so frequently?

Hmmmm….. good question. There are some medical issues that should be addressed when considering long term and/or frequent wearing of a chastity device. Most of these issues are not very severe if tended to.

The most common occurrence would be skin irritation where the cage sits, either around the scrotum or on the shaft of the penis. This can be avoided by using a properly fitting cage and proper lubrication to allow movement of the cage while walking. Skin irritation, if left unchecked, can lead to blisters and skin ulcers which risk being infected. You don’t want that.

Another common condition that is often seen with open-style devices (Birdcage/Jailbird/etc.) is edema, or localized swelling due to fluid buildup. This happens when the penile tissue expands into the open spaces of the cage. This isn’t the “hardon bulge” I’m talking about… that is completely normal, especially when your keyholder is deliberately turning you into a sex-crazed lunatic. Edema occurs when your erection goes away, but the swelling and fluid remain. This can be fixed by rubbing and massaging the area to promote circulation… just be careful not to enjoy it TOO much and piss off your keyholder! Edema, when not dealt with in time, can cause tissue damage and possible erectile dysfunction if it becomes serious enough.

The issues I have described in the linked posts were not related directly to wearing the chastity device. There were… ahem… other factors involved.

Q: How does chastity effect the day-to-day basis of your life?

To be honest, not all that much. The main difference is that I get crazy horny as time goes on. Duh. Other than that, the cage doesn’t get in the way much. I can play with my children without incident – I try to avoid having them sit on my lap, but they are old enough now where that’s not a big worry. Work is not a problem, even though my job requires frequent walks around the room, as well as sitting and standing. Other than the fact that I’m goddamn-motherfucking-all-batshit-flames-of-hell horny all the time, my life proceeds pretty much in a normal fashion.

Q: How do you decide what to post? Is it a joint effort?

My Lady does most of the posting on the blog, for two reasons. First, she is a major control freak… which she will freely admit, hence the FLR lifestyle. Second, she usually has the most time to post, given that she is a stay-at-home mom with a Galaxy Note 2 surgically attached to her hand. However, we both collaborate on what themes and ideas to post about. Very often, we will be discussing a particular aspect of our lifestyle, and either of us will say, “We should totally write a blog post about this.” She usually just beats me to the punch. We do really enjoy doing the “He Said, She Said” and “Conversations” posts… they are lots of fun, and they give our readers great insight on the types of conversations we have and that we consider necessary in order make this lifestyle run smoothly.

Conversations in Chastity – Developing Situations

Posted by Lady M on December 21, 2013
Posted in: Conversations, KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

(Lady and cagedmonkey feel that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and especially important in a chastity relationship. Occasionally, Lady and cagedmonkey will shed some light on what these conversations are like. What follows is a discussion between the two of them, all while posting to the blog.)

CM: So I wanted to ask you something…

Lady: ok?
 
CM: Does your intense arousal level push you farther in denying me, or does denying me increase your arousal level? Or is it chicken and egg?
 
Lady: Oh boy… uhhh… honestly I don’t know!
 
CM: Because I definitely see it feed both ways…. When you see how desperate I am, your pussy soaks, and other times you get so turned on, you really take teasing me to another level.
 
Lady: Oh definitely! I get extremely turned on by your desperation… but making you get to the point of desperation is extremely arousing

CM: But when you get turned on, you want to push me more.
 
Lady: Sitting here… I might have to say the bigger more arousing thing is seeing and feeling your ache, your desperate need for me. It’s like the one is the initial turn on but the big big thing is you being there and it makes me want to push you more so I feel more – maybe

CM: Another question – When we first started, you said that no matter how much I pleased you while locked, you would still need my cock. Is that starting to change? 
 
Lady: Definitely not.

 
CM: Ok good 🙂
 
Lady: I still need and want you very very badly… the part that changed is my will power and that I see how you get the longer I deny you so I want to make myself hold off but it’s very difficult

CM: But I sense the need to make me cum has subsided quite a bit.

Lady: THAT has totally changed! I used to feel like I had to give you an orgasm to keep you happy and wanting to be with me… now… I don’t feel that way at all.
 
CM: Do you still want/need my help?
 
Lady: Your help to deny you? I don’t think so… I don’t need you to not ask for fear that I might give in. If I “give in” it’s because I want to not because of what you do or don’t do

CM: What about you though? The feel of my cock surging inside you, filling you up…. You said before that you need that. Not anymore?

Lady: I DO need it… I just know if I force myself to wait it will be that much more fantastic

CM: So it’s more like you want it, but you can wait for it
 
Lady: Oh hell I want it, need it, ache for it but I’m able to control it – with the help of the device. If the device wasn’t there I’d give in and fuck you all the time

CM: I wish! Do you think you’ll ever be able to progress from “want” to “need”? I just realized this sounds like pressuring but it’s not, just curious
 
Lady: I don’t feel this as pressuring at all, dear

CM: Ok good 🙂
 
Lady: What do you mean progress from want to need?
 
CM: Basically, i’m wondering if we will get to the stage where you can keep me cum-less indefinitely without “denying” yourself….. I don’t mean permanent (God no), but for as long as you like with no limits
 
Lady: You mean without feeling like I’m denying myself?
 
CM: Yes.
 
Lady: I think my levels will/are changing as to when I start to NEED to feel you, see you or want you to cum.
 
CM: Ok. For your information, I’m hoping we can get there. I want you to have everything you want but still be able to deny me for as long as you wish (weeks, months, etc)

Lady: That’s the overall plan 🙂
 
CM: I don’t want anything to influence you, including your cravings.
 
Lady: I’m slowly building my “tolerance” or ability to hold off on feeling you… it’s not easy because looking back, 10 days kicks my ass (right about now!) but I’m getting better at getting through by not unlocking you on vulnerable days!
 
CM: But what happens if a non vulnerable day turns into a vulnerable day? 🙂
 
Lady: Well… I guess we’ll have to cross that bridge when we get there 🙂

 
CM: I’m just afraid one day I’ll be inside  you and you’ll cave in the middle of a MASSIVE denial period 🙂
 
Lady: If that happened, we start over… we have so many years ahead! 🙂
 
CM: True…  I just  wanna wanna wanna wanna  do  this right!
 
Lady: There is no right or wrong, darling How we do it IS right!

CM: Got that right!

Conversations in Chastity: Getting Serious

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 3, 2013
Posted in: Conversations, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

cagedmonkey: We’ve found out so much about this lifestyle in such a short time. It really is amazing!!

Lady: It’s been a whirlwind that’s for sure… but I’ve realized some things since our last go at your orgasm denial.

cm: What things, exactly?

Lady: Well, after this last time having you completely locked and even denying myself I kinda feel like I’ve tested out all that I need in this. I really just want to get on with it. I don’t want to set dates of when you will be locked or unlocked trying to reach some imaginary goal. I’m not going to worry about “oh I shouldn’t unlock him because I said 10 days in!” I’m going to do what I want, when I want, how I want but you will not orgasm… you will please me and I will use you to please myself but you will wait until you have permission to cum. I will see my cock hard & play with it when I want though. All other times you will be locked in your device.

cm: I was actually thinking the exact same thing! We’ve proven that I can safely wear the cage pretty much indefinitely without problems – indefinitely meaning however long you want, not forever (I hope!!!). We have also seen that I’m able to be trusted not to cum when I’m out of the cage, even when giving you the penetration that you crave. The only thing that I’m concerned about is the strength of your resolve. Will you be able to deny me even when I’m seriously trying my hardest to convince you to let me cum?

Lady: I’m pretty sure the denial part will be a piece of cake! The hardest part for me was feeling like I had to keep you locked up to enforce the denial. That’s not true so it should be easy enough, when I’m getting what I need and want, to keep you all crazy. You know I absolutely love when you’ve been reduced to a heaping, begging, desperate mess! Oh boy, it turns me on so much! Are you here with me in my desire to take more control over how I want to use the cage? This starting out thing has been not only about me but lots of worrying about you and what you feel or think and some caving to what I think you want. I’m ready for that to be over.

cm: I’m ready, too. I want it all to be you decision. If you want to tease me until I’m crying out for you to stop every night for a week, then so be it. If you want to keep me locked up constantly for three or even four weeks straight (or more!!!), then please do it. There will be times where I want it to end, where I just want out, or I just want to FUCKING CUM GOD DAMMIT. But what I truly want is to cum only when I’m allowed by you, my Keyholder.

Lady: Awww now that’s the perfect answer from my perfect boy! <3