denial

All posts tagged denial

Lately I’ve really gotten into queening cagedmonkey. Usually how it works is he will get home from work in the morning and I will go “tuck him in.” Well tucking him in is actually the code for getting a little mommy/daddy time in while the kids watch cartoons. We head up to the bedroom and that’s about the time I straddle his face and rub my pussy and asshole all over his face until I get a nice good hard cum or two. This leaves cagedmonkey laying there, used and covered in my pussy juice. I don’t allow him to wipe off unless there is a lot of creamy white cum on his chin. Most of the time he is left there, wet with my cum, to go to sleep smelling like me.
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It’s really become something we both look forward to. We actually have talked about how we miss it if I don’t get a chance to do it. Especially when I have to take a week for my cycle each month… then we both really miss it. We’ve been trying to come up with a way to work through my cycle because it actually slows a lot of our play!

We are not afraid to do things during, by any means, it’s just not nearly the type of play we have daily.

We’ve thought about extra spankings during my cycle and maybe lots more endurance teasing/torture for hubby. I know we will work it out but these are the things that need to get talked about so we aren’t “missing” things or feeling ignored.

cagedmonkey: I’m being hit pretty hard by the “I want to be out” and “I just need to feel your pussy around my cock” feelings lately. Apparrently, the ways you’ve been teasing me over the past week have been damn effective.

Lady:Awww, I get those feelings too, wanting you inside me. I just know the longer you stay locked in your cage the better it’s going to be on my birthday. I’m loving the effect this is having on you.

cm: Yeah, that… I don’t know why I’m having such a rough time this time around.Β I was perfectly fine starting out after Valentine’s Day, but ever since our adventures in alcohol I’ve been on edge. It could be the two weeks of denial I’ve built up, but it’s not even cumming that I’m obessing over. It’s feeling your pussy around my hard cock. I’m needing it bad!

Lady: Awww aren’t you cute, wanting to feel my tight pussy squeeze your big hard cock. You know, there’s always a chance I could let you feel my pussy. Realistically, you will be out of your cage at least a couple times. We’ll see if I can resist. πŸ™‚

cm: Well, technically I have felt your pussy on my cock… the few times you’ve let me in your pussy with the cage on! It seems to me, though, that we are back on track for having me locked up until your birthday pretty much 24/7 (except for maintenance issues, cage switching, etc.). Am I right about that?

Lady: Yes, you are right about that. πŸ™‚ I’m sure there will be a couple of times you’ll be out by then for a good cage cleaning and a good shave. Though the shaving thing with the cage on I’ve got down. And I am really loving what it does to you when I get that cage inside me and especially if I cum around it. It must be super frustrating to barely feel me like that.

cm: It really is. Being that close to something I want where I can feel it, but I can’t have what I want is KILLING ME! My balls are feeling full and swollen, my cock aches nearly constantly, and I can’t help but get turned on when I simply look at you! The chastity effects are coming down full force on me this time around, and it’s your teasing and control that is causing it.

Β 
Lady: I really am loving how horny you are this time. I love your reactions. I’m getting so turned on myself because you are reacting so strongly to my teasing. You’re much more sexually charged and “hair trigger” and those reactions are boosting my self esteem and make me actually feel it when you say I’m sexy, beautiful or amazing. Can you see why I want to keep you locked up and on this path? I don’t want to lose how good it feels with you in this mega horny state. That’s why I want to keep you locked so long this time, to see just how “hair trigger” you can get. I know you want to be my good boy and wait for that, right? πŸ˜‰

cm: Honestly? YES!!! It’s starting to become difficult to maintain my sanity, but that’s okay. I know that you are worth the wait and that you will make it worth the wait when it is over. And you are definitely worth submitting to. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Lady: Awww look how sweet my boy is… you are a smart boy and you’re right, it’s all going to be worth it. Feeling my tight pussy wrapped around your cock in April is going to be amazing!

I’m glad your so obsessed with feeling my pussy because, if you remember, that’s all you get then. Your next chance to cum isn’t until June. πŸ™‚

Boy, oh, boy is this ever going to be fun! πŸ™‚

On Sunday night, My Lady and I sat down together for a few drinks while watching some TV together. We probably should have prepared a little more for the drunkenness ahead, because in the past these types of “drinking nights” have led to weaknesses in ML’s resolve. In other words… when we get drunk together, we usually end up fucking no matter what the chastity situation is. Sometimes I’m a good boy and I hold back when ML denies me. Sometimes ML needs to feel it and she allows me to cum inside her. We felt that we had some added extra security, knowing that it was ML’s time of the month. Would this time be different? Well…

After a few drinks, kisses, and horny touches, My Lady began to tell me how badly she wanted to have a nice hard cock inside her. I told her I’d be happy to oblige, but I couldn’t unless she released me. At first she shook her head and told me that I should go get the strap on instead, but then she seemed to soften up a bit. She talked about how she really did miss my cock, the hardness of my shaft combined with the softness of my skin. Then I asked her the fateful question of the night…

“Would you be mad if you happened to pass out drunk, if I unlocked myself and fucked you?”

And she thought about it!

This comes back to a post ML wrote about whether or not she wants me to disobey her. We’ve talked about it before, and so I kinda already knew where she stood. But I had to ask anyway.

She responded with a long “Hmmmmm…”

Then she reached behind her neck and took the chain that holds my key off of her neck. I looked at her with a confused and excited face. “If you’re going to do it, I figured I’d start you off. But you gotta get me to drink more first.” She smiled at me. I jumped off the couch and poured her another glass of wine. While I was up, she also told me to get a porn DVD that we got for free with an online sex toy purchase.

WTF??? We’re going to watch porn together? I thought. But there was no way I was going to argue. I popped the DVD in and we started to watch.

We watched the first few scenes, and slowly both of us began to realize something – the movie wasn’t all that great. I mean, yeah, it was porn, so we were both getting horny… but it could have been so much better. The girls were obviously faking it (except for one girl-on-girl scene, one of the chicks was REALLY getting into it, you could tell!), and the guys were not even doing a good job with their dicks. I said casually to ML, “Man, I could fuck you so much better than that and make it look so much better.”

She whispered in my ear, “Oh yeah? Show me.” My eyes shot wide open. I asked if she was sure; she nodded. In an instant, the key was in my hand working on the security screw on my Jailbird. My cock sprang out and was fully hard in seconds.

So much for being locked in the cage 24/7 for two months!

I was ready to fuck her immediately, only one problem – the dreaded cycle. What to do? My Lady had a wonderful suggestion:

“Why don’t you just fuck my ass?”

Well then! Sounds like a plan to me!

I lubed us both up and slowly slid my cock into her tight ass. We both moaned loudly as I sunk in further. I was still wearing the ring of the Jailbird, so my cock was extra full and hard, and she definitely felt the difference. I fucked her ass slowly, making sure not to cum and ruin the ENTIRE chastity plan and start over at square one. But as we went on, the alcohol started to get my head swimming, which pushed my urge to cum at bay. Soon I was fucking her pretty hard in the ass, and she was loving it.

We stopped, and we planned to take a shower together. I stood up and ML went to get the DVD out of the player, which is located on a floor level compartment of our entertainment center. All of a sudden, the animal in me took over and I came up behind her andΒ shoved my cock back into her ass. She moaned and squealed in that sexy “give it to me harder” way, so I did. HARD. FUCKING HARD. I pounder her until her face was pressed into the carpet. I pulled her hair as I thrusted into her. I slammed my cock into her as I spanked her ass and called her my anal fuck slut. And she loved every moment, asking for it harder and deeper. She really is an amazing woman. πŸ™‚

After washing off in the shower together, we staggered into the living room to remove all evidence of our alchohol/porn fueled sex romp (just in case the kids woke up early the next morning, lol). We snuggled in bed together, sans clothes and sans cage. It was wonderful.

The next morning, we got out of bed. ML looks at me and seriously asks me, “Did you fuck my ass last night?”

“Uhhhh, yeah!” I replied. “You don’t…”

She shook her head.

She didn’t remember ANY of it! She remembered the drinking and porn parts, but drew a total blank on the ass fucking!* I told her that was fucking hot, and she smiled a huge smile at me. I put my cage back on before heading downstairs, the two month plan destroyed but the four month plan very much still in play. And I ended up getting something I was craving very badly, but still I’m denied and needing to cum bad.

*Note: when ML reads this post, it will probably be the first time she hears about what happened. I didn’t give her many details when she asked what happened. So, look for her in the comments. She may have some interesting things to say about being my “anal fuck slut” for a night!

(Okay, no kidding… “The Final Countdown” is actually playing as I’m writing this post! LOL)

Today is the day. Hopefully by the time you read this (or perhaps even as you are reading this!) I will be cumming in, on, and around My Lady’s body!

Later today, ML and I will be dropping off the kids for an overnight stay at a babysitter’s house, and we will be headed for a nearby hotel/casino for some gambling and our first overnight stay in a hotel without the children present. It promises to be a lot of fun, especially since My Lady has promised to unlock me and have tons and tons of loud, passionate sex with me! I cannot wait!

This feeling is equal parts amazing and nerve racking. It’s amazing because I really do NEED to cum at this point! In fact, tonight before I left for work, ML was teasing my cock in its cage and I was begging her to be unlocked. Any amount of time – an hour a few minutes even… I was desperate to be out of the cage. My desire to cum is even worse than the desire to get hard, but I needed at least one of the two. Finally having an orgasm after about a month of going without is going to be a relief like I have never felt before!

On the other hand… I know what is waiting for me after this weekend. My Lady has laid out the plans for me already – I will be locked 24/7 for two whole months until her birthday. No erections, no time out of the cage. My cock will be encased in steel until April. And looking past that, I will be denied orgasm for at least four months until my birthday in June. I have no idea how I will be able to get through it. Going one month was hard; going four months might just turn me into a desperate, begging, pleading puddle of need! It just might break me! But it is what My Lady wants, so it is what My Lady gets.

Oh yeah, did you notice, by the way… I said “at least four months”? Yes… I’m not even guaranteed an orgasm on my birthday! According to ML, if she is well satisfied (which I always make sure she is) and if she enjoys my desperation enough (which I assume she will, seeing how she reacted to my state during this period of denial), she may decide to extend my denial even further. Fireworks on July 4th? Possibly. Even farther than that? She didn’t rule it out. When I asked if I was going to cum again this year at all… even then, she was non-committal.

Looks like I better enjoy myself this weekend while I can. Who knows when I will get my next chance?

My Lady and I were texting each other last night while I was at work, and the conversation wandered to the topic of sensory deprivation. You see, ML has been doing some research in that area, specifically sensory deprivation hoods. And when ML starts doing research, you know that she’s getting serious about it.

She began to text me some of the ideas that have been popping up in her head, and I couldn’t help but get turned on (which made my cock strain against the cage rather strongly). Here are just a few examples of the texts she sent me:

  • “like putting your hands in mittens behind your back, making you kneel on the floor hooded”
  • “I could open only the gag and make you choke on my dildo”
  • “I could take off the blindfold with my pussy right in your face while I cum”
  • “Put a dildo in your ass and make you sit on it while I fuck your mouth with mine”
  • “So if I told you I could put the hood on and use the face dildo as the gag piece instead and fuck your sensory deprived face, how would that make you feel?”

How would it make me feel?

Those sound like horrible, terrible things to have to endure. I don’t know if I could take it.

How would it make me feel?

I need to experience this.

That’s how it makes me feel. I can imagine myself in the moment, wanting it to end so badly, wondering why and how I got myself into this, suffering in pain and frustration. Yet it’s undeniable – I want it to happen. When I read those texts – and even now as I retype them – I get a tightness in my chest that says to me, “Oh. My. God. I NEED THIS.”

It’s scary and confusing to have these types of feelings – to want something you don’t want to happen happen, so badly. But honestly, that’s pretty much what chastity is. I’m sitting here with my cock locked in a steel cage with no way to get out on my own, and I desperately want to cum. But I want to be like this – desperate for release, yet powerless to facilitate that release, completely dependent on My Lady for any and all sources of sexual pleasure. I trust My Lady with my life; I know she will protect me and keep me safe, even when she is putting me through hell just because she can and she wants to. It speaks to my devotion to her how badly I want this to happen, even though I don’t want this to happen.

Now I’m left wondering just when she plans on putting these things in motion…

It’s funny to say that cagedmonkey planned a getaway for Valentine’s Day when we live a Wife Led Marriage. So how does it work when a husband wants to do something like that for his Lady in charge? Here’s how it goes for our WLM, perhaps others are different.

This year hubby and I are on a mission to create new memories, good memories and wonderful feelings around those certain times of the year that have been difficult in the past. I’ll admit I was a bit down about Valentine’s Day and didn’t want to plan anything but hubby asked that I give it a chance. I’m willing to do that because this is all about renewing and repairing and the past needs to stay just that. So I’m excited about creating new feelings with my wonderful, amazing guy. The difference here is that I didn’t want to be the one planning something to create those good feelings so I handed that over to hubby to figure out a nice time for us.

So the other day cagedmonkey came to me and asked how I felt about the kids having an overnight babysitter. This is something we’ve never done, not even when visiting grandma’s or anything. The kids have only recently started having a babysitter at all. So we talked a bit and I told him that I thought I was ready for it and that for us, our marriage we need to be able to do these things. With an overnight sitter comes working out our daughters medical needs and scheduling things and teaching the sitter what needs to be done in an emergency. No biggie though, I can handle that!

Anyway, hubby told me of the plans he thought of to make our Valentine’s Day a memorable one. He planned a getaway for the night to the same casino where we spent our anniversary day last month. Now when I say “planned” that means he told me what he wanted – an overnight babysitter, a night in the hotel, dinner, drinks, gambling and a night filled with loud orgasms. It then becomes my job as the Lady in charge to make it happen if it’s possible.

So I did just that, I first talked to the babysitter to see if her mom would allow her to do an overnight job and she’s ok with that if they go to their house. I’m perfectly fine with that myself, since our babysitter is our Pastor’s daughter and the kids will be in a loving, safe environment and will go to church with them the next morning! Woot, bonus! πŸ™‚ After that was set I called up and made reservations for a room and dinner package at the casino hotel and we’re all set now to enjoy an overnight getaway for Valentine’s Day that cagedmonkey planned.

So in our Wife Led Marriage, hubby can certainly plan something like this to surprise me but I’m still in control of the financial and logistic sides of it! I love how we just work this way… to me, this is my idea of a surprise, a wonderful surprise and he knows that. I’m not one for having no control over a situation and really don’t do well with traditional surprises like that. I think he prefers to plan things this way and to not have to deal with talking to people, negotiating prices, dealing with credit cards and figuring out which money needs to go where and how much to cover everything. In our marriage it’s much easier to say what it is he wants to do and then I make it happen!

We hope that you and your love have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, chaste or otherwise.

CagedMonkey and I have had a very relaxed couple weeks in the chastity device and our D/s play because our Jail Bird is in getting adjustments. The Bird Cage we use as a back up device is really showing its wear and I don’t want hubby wearing it for more time than necessary. So really he’s only been wearing it to work.

I decided, since we haven’t had any real intense teasing play lately, today would be a bit of  a dominant day. Cagedmonkey works midnights so when he got home this morning he got breakfast for the kids and then got ready for bed. He had a headache so I gave him some Tylenol and let him sleep a little before putting him through this intense ride.

I’m not sure what you would call this but today he is (trying to) sleeping unlocked, bound to the bed, gagged with a penis gag and stuffed with the njoy butt plug. While he is enduring that torture? I will be visiting very often to stroke him and edge him.

I’m sure he’s going to be very tired and worn out by this afternoon but I feel like he needed a good reminder of who is in charge of all of his pleasures & sensations.

I’m really loving the idea of sensory deprivation play and I’m working to learn how to make it happen. So for now I’m playing with sensations and making him all filled up and unable to touch or do anything about whatever I do to him. He just has to endure whatever I want to do to him because I am in control of it all. I’m even in control of how much or the quality of sleep he gets. It should be a fun day and perhaps he’ll write later about how he feels about what I’m doing to him. πŸ™‚

One thing that goes very well with Male Chastity is tease and orgasm denial. It is not a requirement but it’s a great technique. Having that cage around their cock controlling when and if a guy gets an erection makes it easy and fun to control when and if they will have an orgasm. πŸ™‚

I don’t think I’m an easy person to take when it comes to tease and denial. I can get pretty intense. I have to say, I’m very impressed with cagedmonkey’s ability to hold out during my teasing. Yesterday, I spent the entire day controlling my big caged cock. Usually hubby spends his days unable to get an erection but yesterday I decided he would spend as much of the day as possible with a raging hard cock.

Every chance I got I would tease him, stroke him, grab him and rub on him to get him standing at attention. I was so turned on by teasing him that at one point I took him upstairs pushed him down on the bed, unbuttoned his jeans and pulled out that big hard cock. I climbed up top and edged him with my pussy over and over again. I was so sloppy wet and so turned on that I decided to make his eyes bug and I slid his big thick hard-on deep in my ass. Not gently, not slowly, I just slid it right in, all the way! I love hearing that gasp when I do something that shocks him! πŸ™‚

So this sort of play continued as much as possible all day long. We even went out to dinner last night as a family. Before we went I told him that at some point during dinner I was going to tell him to go to the bathroom. He was to go, stroke himself to the edge and walk back with his huge bulging boner. I told him I’d feel it when he came back to the table and if it wasn’t hard enough he’d have to go back and do it better. So as soon as we finished our appetizer I leaned over and whispered, “Don’t you think you ought to use the bathroom before our meals come?” He responded, “yes, ma’am” and off he went.

When he came back to the table he was extremely hard and dripping precum already. I rubbed him under the table a few times through his pants and realized he had leaked through his boxers and jeans and got my hand wet and sticky! Now that’s a lot of precum! πŸ™‚

Our night didn’t end there, hehe. Once we got the littles to bed I gave him almost an hour of straight stroking and teasing and ruined back to back orgasms for him. Then I continued stroking him even after he was begging me to stop because he was so tired! I giggled my ever so entertained little girl giggle the whole time, how fun!

Hey, be careful what you wish for, you might just get it way worse than you imagined! hehe πŸ™‚

Being a wife and Keyholder can bring on a lot of confusing and conflicting feelings. Especially when it comes to whether or not we want to allow our sweet locked up boys to orgasm.

I noticed last night as cagedmonkey and I were messing around that I had this feeling of wanting him to be so horny for me that he would just take me. That’s all fine and dandy because I have such a devoted, good boy that I can take his hand and put it on the back of my head and he knows I want him to grab my hair, flip me on to the couch and slide into me. What he also knows is that I don’t want him to cum while having his way with me… and he won’t.

While 99.999999% of the time I do not want him to, I really think there is this itty bitty part of me that wishes I could push him past the point of being a good boy. I said, I THINK! It really felt like it last night. I felt like I wished he was so horny he would disobey me. Of course if he did, he’d be punished for it because it would be cumming without permission but maybe part of me wants that? Maybe part of me wants him to disobey so I can punish him? I really DON’T want him to cum. However, there is this little part of me wants to know if I’m THAT irresistible. Could I possibly get him so horny that it pushes him so far as to not be the extremely devoted good boy that he is.

Perhaps just getting him to a begging, pleading, practically crying mess will satisfy my “am I irresistible?” feeling. It’s so frustrating because like I said I really don’t want him to but maybe I do want him to challenge me!

Anyway… I’m not sure what I really want but cagedmonkey and I talked about this very thing today because that’s what you do in a relationship. You talk, about everything! I told him how conflicting the feelings were but that the “don’t orgasm” feelings beat out the “disobey me” ones. We talked about how we could get to a point of, in the moment, letting him know that he had a choice to obey my rules or disobey them. Well really he always has that choice but if he disobeyed at any other time I would be extremely disappointed and probably get depressed and his punishment would be pretty severe. If there was that moment of me being like “well I wouldn’t be devastated if he was so so so bad that he just had to disobey me and take me” I would need to be able to let him know. If it was a moment like that where I let him know with a few choice words there would still be consequences but perhaps no where near as harsh as him making that decision on his own whim.

I’m telling you… if you ever think your wife, girlfriend, partner and Keyholder has an easy job, you are very mistaken! A lot of us get these conflicted feelings. That’s not to say everyone does but I’m sure a good amount of us do.

roulette_lg

To celebrate our anniversary this weekend, My Lady and I are taking a trip to a local casino for some gambling & drinking fun. She even set us up with a babysitter for the day so we can go and enjoy ourselves without the kids in tow. What a wonderful anniversary gift for BOTH of us!

Until, of course, I open my big mouth.

You see, part of our agreement is that I tell ML about any and all fantasies or ideas that I get that involve our sex life. ML has been struggling with the decision on whether or not to let me cum on our anniversary – she REALLY wants me to fill her up with a nice hot load of cum, but she also REALLY wants to push me further. She couldn’t decide. That’s when my kinky, creative brain kicked in and came up with an idea that she seems to like a helluva lot more than I probably will.

Here’s my idea – we are going to find the roulette table in the casino and choose one spin to dictate a number. That number will determine how many extra days will be added to my current stint of orgasm denial. Thanks to the zero and double zero spaces, I actually have a 1/19 (~5%) chance to cum that night. However, I also risk the possibility of having to go another thirty six days without an orgasm. Considering I am already approaching three weeks without an orgasm, the longest time since we’ve started our chastity lifestyle without cumming, adding another month-plus on the back end is going to be torture. I know what I’m rooting for. What My Lady is hoping for is a mystery to me…

Wish me luck!