marriage

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I really am giggling wondering what you are all thinking after a title like that. Something like, “what could they possibly be up to… handlebars!?!?” Lol you’ll have to read to find out! 🙂

Actually I’m posting this because it’s real life, it’s what actually happens while living the kinky life. We can’t stress enough how much of a regular suburban family are.

Our weekend began last night so I unlocked cagedmonkey to play a bit, mainly because I’ve been missing some naughty, naked time. Sunday night’s are my Food Network shows so while we watched 2 hours of cooking shows I was teasing him. I basically made him stay hard the entire time but not the way you think. I had decided that I would only stroke him when he was soft and as soon as he got hard I stopped touching. Each time he would get soft I would stroke him again. He was so turned on that stroking him soft ended up edging him while soft. He was so close to cumming even before his cock was hard. It was so fun for me to have a hold of his cock, teasing him.

Toward the end of Cut Throat Kitchen he was getting very over stimulated which is when he started begging me to give him a break. I guess after two hours he deserved it, huh? Haha he got his little break to have a snack and soon after we went up to bed… that’s when I allowed him to feel my pussy. I made him fuck me and I came on his cock while he was denied. We slept together naked which was awesome!

That brings us to today where I spent a good portion of the day stroking him and edging him over and over. I just love feeling his body practically melt against me while I’m quickly sneaking an edge in the kitchen while the kids play outside. Which brings me to my point, the kids were playing outside, riding bikes and pushing baby dolls in a stroller. Riding up and down our street, while I sat on the porch reading a book enjoying the sun and breeze. Every once in awhile I’d sneak in the house and edge hubby and then walk away, back outside to watch the kids.

Well that ended up getting cut short when our 6yo son was going too fast on his bike, turned his handlebars too much and crashed. I ran to meet him and he was so upset and crying. He smashed his face on the pavement and cut up his hand. This time when I headed in the house it was to wash up cuts and scrapes and bandage some wounds. Yeah, that will kill the mood real quick haha. He’s actually a very tough kid and he’s fine. It seemed much worse than it was. 🙂

Anyway, that put the brakes on the sneaky kinky play. I decided we would head out for dinner and do Moe’s Monday. We love Moe’s and $5 burritos, can you beat it? So after we ate we came home, got the kids showered and put them to bed… now the real play time begins…

I’m sure there will be a lovely post about that tomorrow! 🙂

In a way men have it easy when it comes to emotions… they are simple minded and I definitely mean that as a compliment. It’s so complicated being a woman and being emotionally and hormonally driven. Women have to over-think everything and talk the hell out of something. Many times a guy just takes things as they are and goes with it and accepts it… they aren’t sitting there reading into or analyzing this, that or the other thing. It’s so annoying sometimes being a woman.

I’m guilty of this as I’m sure a few women are:
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We have to go an over think things and create stuff in our heads we’re getting upset over when there was nothing even remotely close to that to begin with. Really, he just hit a couple extra traffic lights on the way home, chill out!

Let’s think of it this way, a wife does something that hurts her husband. She realizes she was hurtful, apologizes, he accepts the apology and he never thinks of it again. Done, overwith in his mind, yay!

Now, a guy does something that hurts his wife. Remember a woman is emotionally and hormonally charged, so her husband may realize his part in it and apologize, great! Yeah it’s not over yet! A woman may continue to analyze, relive it over and over again in her head and try to figure it out. It lingers there, eating away at her unless every angle her mind is coming up with is addressed.
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So I made this analogy the other day to describe the way a wife’s mind may handle a situation. Yeah, I can get confusing sometimes but hopefully you get my point here. This comes out of my mouth much better in conversation. Ok I imagine you have an area rug over your hardwood floor. The “something” that was done is sitting there on top. An apology busts it into a bunch of pieces, yay! Now all we need to do is get a garbage bag and pick everything we can up off the rug. The mess is cleaned up, right?

NOT!

As a woman we know there are smaller bits that couldn’t get picked up by hand and they are then swept under that rug. We know, over time, that walking on that rug will eventually move those bits out from under the rug… great more of the same shit needs to be cleaned up. Some women are able to communicate that these feelings of hurt are creeping back up again to bother her and a husband can then apologize again or reassure her. Fantastic, now we’ve gotten out the vacuum cleaner and sucked up those remaining bits. Now it’s done, right?

NOT!

Now using the vacuum has sucked up those left over tiny bits that were swept under the rug but in the meantime has spread microscopic dust particles of hurt into the air. What will eventually happen over time is every so often a dust particle will land on a woman’s emotions. It will give that twinge of hurt again. So you see, that one hurt can linger for a woman until you’ve gotten out the air purifier and rid her of every single dust particle.

A hurt women will need to be told and shown, likely multiple times over a period of time, that her hubby is sorry for the same transgression. A woman will likely need to be reminded of how sorry her hubby is for that hurt. Look at it this way… if you manage to get through the vacuuming it’s a hubby’s job to then keep spraying the Endust or Pledge to keep the dust from settling.

I guess what I’m trying to say is… don’t hurt your wife because it’s a hell of a lot more work and time to “apologize” than its worth. One single hurt can turn into years of this roller coaster. Some couples never make it back to the station together, they unbuckle their lap belts and just jump out. Or, if they do make it back, they hold onto those screams that should have come out on the loop-the-loop and they turn into resentment… then have you really made it back at all?

Remember, if you hurt your wife, you’ve just gotten on one hell of a roller coaster ride and because she’s worth it (or you probably wouldn’t have married her) you’ll hold on for dear life and do everything she needs to purify the air.

***please note: I’m not a professional, my ramblings do not necessarily represent every woman or situation… it’s just my opinion and experience as a woman and knowing women.

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Ever since I was a kid I’ve wanted to see Phantom of the Opera on stage. My dream had always been to see it at the Pantages Theatre in Toronto but I never got the chance. However, today, my wonderful hubby is taking me to see Phantom, it may not be Toronto but I know it’s going to be such an amazing show. This is probably one of the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten. I can’t wait to go today. Phantom is my favorite musical! 🙂

I know this isn’t our typical sex-related post but it’s our life so I wanted to share with you. It should be a wonderful night tonight too since hubby is finally off work and we will get in some teasy play time!

I’m not sure where I read it, but I remember a quote that goes like this:

The sun shines brightest on the man who just got out of prison.

Whoever said this is seriously spot on, I swear.

Today being the first day after being allowed to cum in nearly three months, I’ve been trying to soak up all of the relaxation the moment can afford me. That’s not to say that I’ve been totally “relaxed.”  🙂  I’ve also been taking advantage of the “denial break” that I’ve been granted by My Lady. Notice I didn’t say “chastity break” there; I’ve been wearing the Jailbird to work the past two nights. But that doesn’t bother me a bit when I have the opportunity to have wonderful spontaneous sex with my wife.

This change of situation has made me realize a few things. First, it’s obvious that I’m still horny for My Lady. The frantic edge of the want has been filed down, but the desire didn’t (and most likely will never) go away. I have noticed that my cock is a little bit slower at “standing to attention,” but I believe that’s a result of having so many orgasms after a period of having so few (a.k.a. none). If you haven’t run a mile in a year, you’ll probably start having a tough time after a few laps around the block. My cock just has to get its wind back, that’s all.  🙂

I have also noticed that, although I do like cumming in ML’s mouth twice a day (brag), I also enjoy how it feels when my horniness has hit a level so high it can only be reached through a lengthy denial. The conflicting feelings of being totally energized yet drained at the same time, the highs from pleasing ML and the lows of being denied my own pleasure… it’s one major mind trip. Nothing else can recreate it.

This experience has also allowed me to grow closer to My Lady, not only on a physical level, but on an emotional and spritiual level as well. The mutual orgasm we had as we made love last night was absolutely incredible. It was a wonderful moment for both of us to share. Having that moment with each other after waiting for so long accentuated just how powerful it was for both of us. It also showed us both that, no matter the length of denial My Lasy should choose, that connection of ours is so strong that it will never fade.

My Lady and I have been going through some pretty intense experiences over the past week. I think we could both sense Maybe Day approaching next week. It was exciting, but it was also taking its toll on both of us.

Granted, it was probably more difficult on me than on ML. I could feel my horniness growing deep inside my gut and spreading to the outer limbs of my body. I had gone well past my longest period of orgasm denial. My balls were constantly feeling swollen and the veritable “blue balls” veins had appeared weeks ago. Even after ML gave me a milking over the weekend, I still found no relief. The finish line was near, but I was barely dragging myself there.

The denial of my orgasm was also having a not-so-obvious effect on My Lady. As time ran on and the intensity grew and grew, she began to ramp up her dominant side. She was taking advantage of my more and more often, cornering me and rubbing her wet pussy all over my face whenever she could. We began to do more bondage games, pushing the intensity further. ML eventually reached a plateau; she was no longer feeling the fun of dominating me.

“It feels like work,” she said to me this morning, which is the LAST thing I want it to feel like. I want ML’s control over me to be natural, to flow from her effortlessly. I don’t want her to fulfill a role she thinks I want her to. I want her to be her. If she feels like teasing me in cute ways one day, then bring it on! If she isn’t in the mood for any teasing whatsoever, no problem! She was starting to feel obligated, and neither of us wanted that. So I asked ML if we could take it easy tonight and just lay with each other and make love. Those were apparently the exact words she wanted to hear, as she responded with an empahtic YES!

Before ML brought the kids upstairs to bed, she handed me the key to the Jailbird and whispered to me to unlock myself for when she came back downstairs. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I didn’t expect this kind of love making! I quickly whipped the cage off and waited for her to come downstairs. We sat with each other for a little while, kissing as we slowly undressed. Once we were fully naked, ML got up and got her phone and told me to get ready to shoot a video.

As I hit record, she took my cock in between her beautiful tits and started rubbing them up and down my shaft. Oh my God, it felt so good! I was almost ready to blow my load in seconds. In between breathy moans, I told ML that I was getting close to cumming. I expected her to slow down, but she continues the titty fucking. I told her again, this time in a semi-pleading tone. She responded by simply shhhh-ing me and moving her tits up and down even faster. She continued until I could feel my orgasm hurtling towards me. There was no stopping it now!

And then I was cumming! I was having my first orgasm in 80 days, and it was hitting me hard. I moaned and whimpered as it pulsed through my entire body. I looked down at my cock, spurting cum all over ML’s titties (I thought there’d be a lot more, but then I remembered the milking session on the weekend). It just barely registered in my mind that I was recording the whole thing. Somehow I ended up getting a great angle on the whole thing!

My Lady cleaned the cum off of her tits, and I immediately laid her down on the couch and climbed on top of her. I entered her, and we truly made love. It felt so amazing to not have to slow down, or worry about accidentally cumming. In fact, since I had just had an orgasm, I was hanging in there pretty well. Still, it didn’t take all that long until I was ready to cum again. I picked up my pace and thrusted a little deeper, and just as my orgasm started I felt ML’s body tighten underneath me. Oh God, we were having a mutual orgasm… fuuuuuuuck it was beyond awesome. I could feel the waves of pleasure flowing through both of our bodies as we shared an intense orgasm. What a wonderful night.  😀

So, in the end, we came up a week short of the intended Maybe Day, but that’s why we call it Maybe Day. ML has the right to give me an orgasm sooner or later, completely up to her discretion. And she needed that closeness today. We both did. I’m not sure if the fact that it was 80 days factored in to her decision or not; she does love round numbers after all.  😉

My Lady sent me to work tonight wearing the Jailbird again. I am thankful for two things. Actually, make that three, with my orgasm being one (hehehe). I’m glad that I don’t have any guilty/down feeling about cumming. I’m not disappointed about not being made to hold out longer. In fact, I’m happy that ML made a decision that she wanted instead of just blindly pushing to Maybe Day. I’m not sure how my moods will be in the next few days, but right now I’m feeling good. I’m also thankful that I’m not mopey about going back into the cage. It felt good to go back in at ML’s direction. I don’t find myself feeling cheated or wanting more time out.

And what about the plan for my next denial stint? Neither of us are really sure where it’s going to go. ML has mentioned a number of options. She has thought about locking and unlocking me multiple times and perhaps not even giving me a real denial time – allowing me to cum fairly often for a little while. She has also mentioned the possibility of locking me up 24/7 with no release time until my birthday and seeing where it goes from there. Honestly, anything she chooses will be perfect as long as she makes the choice freely and without pressure.

cagedmonkey: So…….. can I cum yet? 🙂

Lady: Uhhh, no love, it’s just not time for that. Especially when you’re at work.

cm: Of course. Why do I even ask? lol

Lady: Hoping one time I’ll actually say yes? 😉

cm: I guess so, although I have a hard time believing you will say yes. There have been times recently where you were so horny I thought you might cave in, but you didn’t. If you didn’t give in during those times, I doubt you’ll ever give in to me early.

Lady You’re right, I’ve become much stronger than in the beginning. At first I was still in the “need to please him” phase even if I didn’t think I was. Deep down I didn’t want to frustrate you, upset you, etc. It just caused me to be weak to your pleas.

cm: Now it seems like it’s the exact opposite – the more I beg and plead, the more you enjoy it and the harder you push me!

Lady It must be bittersweet that I’ve become so strong, huh?

cm: Honestly, I couldn’t be happier. I know that I can be honest with you about how I feel (sooooo frustrated!!!) and what I want (to cum sooooo bad!!!!), and not worry about influencing you or topping from the bottom. You truly are in full control, and I’m very lucky to serve a dominant with such a strong sense of what she wants.

Lady You are a lucky boy! Hehe 🙂 It wasn’t hard after awhile to embrace the frustration and let it entertain me. Once I was able to almost laugh at your situation, I began to really get enjoyment out of your frustration. I started enjoying the control of making you so incredibly horny for me. I just love getting you to that point where you HAVE to touch me just to feel my skin… because you’re THAT horny.

cm: And I definitely am that horny! Speaking of which…… can I cum now?

Lady No :)~

cm: Damn…..

Ok, let me back up a bit.

During our vacation and since then as well, My Lady has kept me unlocked almost as often as she has kept me locked. Perhaps it’s even more tilted towards unlocked, but I haven’t been keeping much track. I’m too busy being teased insane by a hellaciously horny woman nearly every moment of the day.

ML has kept me unlocked so she can tease me whenever she wants and use her “favorite toy” whenever the mood strikes her. And she has been very active in both of those activities. Whether it’s sneaking a quick edge or two when the kids aren’t around or giving me a long teasing blowjob, she is certainly getting her fill of my cock. She has also been getting a good dose of sex, either taking charge and climbing on top of me or having me do all the work.

I’ll tell you this – it has not been easy to remain a “good boy” and refrain from cumming while fucking ML. In fact, I doubt you can classify what I end up doing as “fucking.” I’m often on the very edge of orgasm after just a few strokes into her tight wet pussy. At this point, I have no choice but to hold still as I struggle for control. After I drag myself back from the brink, I can usually manage only a few more thrusts before I’m right back to the edge again. And if ML wants some good hard thrusts, I pretty much have no choice but to give her a few good deep strokes before I have to jump up off of her before my cock explodes inside her.

My Lady assures me that this is not a problem for her, that she expects is after teasing and denying me for so long and that she is the one who is creating the situation. If it truly was a problem for her, she would just let me cum. She makes a good point, but I still want to be able to satisfy her penetration needs. This is why I was so happy that the RodeOh harness worked so well.

Earlier today I found an accidental solution to the problem, albeit not a permanent one. The kids went outside into the backyard to play, which left ML and me with some alone time. My cock got hard pretty quick as ML jumped on top of me and straddled me on the couch. It wasn’t long before I was hard as a rock and sliding into her warm pussy.

So, My Lady was riding my cock, and I could feel the edge approaching quickly. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the TV was on. Right then, a light bulb went off in my head. A DISTRACTION! THAT’S WHAT I NEED!

So while ML is bouncing her pussy on my cock, her beautiful tits hanging right above my face, I start listening to Stephen A. Smith argue with Skip Bayless about the NFL draft. I’m listening and really thinking about what he’s saying. My Lady’s sexiness is still there, right in front of my face (and right on top of my cock), so it takes a real effort to pay attention.

And then I realize it’s working.

The urge to cum is fading slowly, and ML is still riding me hard. I was able to hold back, even when ML’s orgasm started to hit her. Usually, feeling her pussy squeeze my cock when she cums will be too much for me to handle, but this time I had no problems as she rode me through her orgasm. It was great to finally NOT have to tell her to be careful or to slow down. It was great to feel her cum on my cock without having to resort to her rubbing her clit while I stayed motionless inside her.

As successful as this was, I cannot resort to watching ESPN every time ML an I have sex. We’ve discussed the idea of desensitizing spray, and the RodeOh is also an option. I just don’t understand how guys out there can deal with this problem. I read on blogs here and there about how guys who have been denied even longer than I have can have sex with their KH, and they don’t mention anything about this type of issue. Is this just something guys don’t normally feel comfortable talking about, or is it just me that has this problem?

Communication needs to be the heart of every relationship. No one can read anyone’s mind and it’s important to know and understand what your partner is thinking and feeling. The only way that will happen is to be an active, calm, open-minded listener. How we interact about issues such as time spent together or away from one another, commitment, money, health, our kids, family, friends, trust, and intimacy affects our ability to develop and maintain lasting marriages and relationships. 

We have found, since beginning this new journey, that communication is a huge part of an enforced chastity relationship. A lot of things could go wrong if you don’t take time to talk about each other’s expectations, goals and fears.

It’s usually hard to bring up intimate subjects with those you care about. There’s a lot of risk involved with these conversations. Just because the topic is intimate and the person is someone you love, don’t back down from bringing up the things that are important to you.

When it comes to talking with your spouse about sex, here’s a few things to keep in mind.

Timing is key. It’s not a good idea to bring up the subject of sex while having sex (this is different than talking about the current encounter and emotions involved which enhances the experience). If you want to discuss some unresolved aspect of your sexual relationship or a disappointment or frustration, during sex is not a good time for the discussion. Both of you will likely be less open and objective about the conversation. It’s also not a good idea to bring up touchy subjects at bedtime.

Another important thing is to be honest. If you are going to address this subject, be upfront and honest. This may seem like common sense but there are many people who resort to code words or only bring things up half-way. Even if it may not seem so, your partner will respect you more for it in the long run.

Avoid placing blame and attacking your partner, a nice calm conversation is what you’re looking for, not confrontation. It’s easy to address this kind of topic with statements like “Why do you always want to …” or “You always seem to initiate when I’m…” When a person feels attacked they’ll respond defensively, it’s part of a person’s survival nature. During these kinds of personal discussions, take care of yourself. Talk about you, your experience, what you’re thinking, and what you’re feeling. This may still impact your partner and might even hurt a bit, but it definitely increases the chances that you’ll be heard. Purposefully hear their side of things, be clear on their perspective. This is especially good if you have a partner who’s reluctant to have this conversation. Slowing down to really listen can help keep things calm, though not always less emotionally charged. But the less reactive you are, the more likely a good resolution will result.

Be sure to fill the conversation with respect. Avoid talking down to your partner and never assume they know what you’re thinking. Also avoid interrupting them while they’re speaking. No one wants to feel misunderstood, unappreciated, disregarded or disrespected.

You’d think it would be easier to bring up a subject like sex. Sex talk is all over in our culture. There are sex tips in magazines and on talk-shows. It’s pretty rare to actually see examples of real couples discussing sex. “Talking about sex as a personal, intimate experience with your partner is a totally different kind of talk,” says Barry McCarthy, a Washington, D.C., psychologist and sex therapist who has written books about nonsexual marriages and how to prevent them. “You have to be open to talking about what you value and your vulnerability,” he says. No one teaches us how to actually talk about such sensitive subjects. Not just sexual subjects but any emotionally charged topics.

Early on in a relationship we are “drunk in love” and talking about sex is fun and arousing. Everything is exciting and new but in a long-term committed relationship, talking about intimacy is more difficult. Sexual problems can crop up for any number of reasons. Anything from stress at work, child-rearing, lack of time, medical issues, past sexual trauma or aging can cause issues in our intimate relationships. Many couples get stuck in a rut where sex is all or nothing.

I think having trouble discussing problems in your sex life with your spouse is pretty common. Just try to remember that the discussion may take more than one conversation. You don’t have to figure it all out at once. It is very important to be gentle with your partner. A really great line to get your conversation started would go a little something like this… ‘I love you, and I’d like to feel more connected to you.’

Once we got through the initial conversation and got those communication floods gates opened things flowed much more easily. We continue to keep that communication very open and non-judgemental. One way we keep this level of communication going in our relationship is by using a notebook as a journal. It’s been a pretty fantastic way to bring up some of the more challenging subjects we may run into.
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Communication is something I try to encourage in any relationship. I can’t see a relationship surviving the long-term trials without strong communication.

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Yes, that’s correct… I’ve been out of my cock cage for pretty much the whole day today! Going back to last night, actually, it’s just about 24 hours now. I had an appointment earlier today, and My Lady actually allowed me out of the house and not in her company without being locked up. I had to ask her if she was sure, I was surprised! Obviously I didn’t have permission to cum, but this was the most freedom I’ve had since ML and I started practicing male chastity.

And I’m not going to lie… it feels good.

Last night and early this morning in bed with ML, it felt really nice to just roll over and slide into her pussy on a whim. The spontaneity of ML grabbing me, squeezing me, stroking me through my clothing is so exciting. I really do like being unlocked!!

But, let’s not get carried away. This situation is just as frustrating as wearing the cage is. Those unexpected touches from ML are driving me mad, shooting my desire into the stratosphere and making me incredibly horny! All of the sex ML and I have been having since she unlocked me is great… but I need to cum. And each sexual encounter makes me need to cum even worse. Even walking around the house, I can feel my cock brushing against my clothing. I’m so sensitive after over a month of denial, it’s like I’m being constantly teased! Seems like the cock cage was doing me a favor. 🙂

And just because I say that I’m enjoying my (most likely temporary) freedom, that doesn’t mean I want to end our chastity play. Far from it! I do enjoy my freedom, but it is this freedom that makes being locked in chastity so intense and wonderful. And THAT is why ML and I do this – we have an intense sexual connection through denying me regular sexual outlets, allowing her to control all aspects of my pleasure, and having me serve and provide her with as much pleasure as she desires. A day or two of going “free range” is never going to change that.

 

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Driving wearing his monkey pants!


Of course cagedmonkey and I are driving back home from my father’s Memorial and what song comes on the radio? “You Can’t Touch This” haha he certainly can’t, can he? 🙂 I did get a cute little tease in while singing it to him and made him smile.

Overall, the services for my father were good. I’ve done a lot of crying the past few days and cagedmonkey has been my rock. Such a man just being there for anything I need. He was on kid duty a lot because being around my very large family I end up being pulled in 20 directions from everyone who wants to talk to me.

The past few days have been so hard and I miss my hubby even though we’ve been right next to each other! We haven’t had much intimate time but last night I made sure to get me some. Cagedmonkey had gone to bed before me and had fallen asleep so when I came in I took off my dress and climbed in bed with him to press my boobies against his naked chest. Oh man did it ever feel awesome skin to skin like that. We made out a bit and then snuggled together and fell asleep. Though we were up a couple times at night because he was dreaming about us and would get some touchy feely stuff in.

We’re about 7 hours from home and have to wait that much longer to finally get some quiet alone time together. We cannot wait!!