tease

All posts tagged tease

If you have followed our journey for a while, you already know tease and denial is no longer just something Jon and I play with. It has become part of how we connect, how we communicate, and part of our everyday lives. Hence the change to JonMustWait 🙂

That energy has deepened as we have leaned more intentionally into our ENM dynamic with John. At times, like recently, it gets really intense. I thought I would share with you all just how intense things have been getting. 

For the past few weeks, Jon has existed in anticipation. Not just in sexual frustration, because we all know without orgasm there is a ton of that. But in anticipation. The kind that makes every look feel meaningful and has him questioning if it’s sexual. Barriers and toys have created a sort of distance while somehow providing a closeness. Each moment becomes more about awareness of his body, my control and the understanding that it can be both grounding and intoxicating. No direct skin contact on his cock, no warm, wet slide of my pussy anywhere near him, just those maddening barriers: cotton sheets, toys, gloved fingers so close he could feel the heat radiating off but never quite touching. Every edging session left him leaking, aching, balls heavy with need. And yes, I keep reminding him that any orgasm he begged for would probably be gifted to my boyfriend instead.

In an ENM marriage or relationship, that awareness carries extra emotional weight. Jon knows that pleasure is not something automatically owed to him. It is something I choose to give, redirect, or hold in suspense. The other night captured that dynamic perfectly. I strapped the Lovense Gush around Jon’s big cock and John hooked up to the long-distance remote connection. Placing pacing and intensity in John’s hands while I remained physically present with Jon wasn’t a new experience but maybe one we’ve done once before. I watched his reactions reshape his focus. I stayed beside him, speaking quietly, reinforcing and reminding him that control is not always physical. The toy hummed and pulsed while I sat beside him, my voice penetrating his ear: describing how wet the thought of this made me, how I loved his reactions to my boyfriend controlling what his cock was feeling and that maybe I’d let John fuck me this weekend, while he stayed denied and dripping. The vibrations built, slowed, built again… relentless edging that had him trembling, hips jerking in the air trying to get some kind of release or relief, I’m not sure which. When I finally ended the edging and had Jon stand up and the built up pecum came pouring out. All I could do was giggle.

Look at all that wasted precum dripping on the floor.

Jon and I were talking after this particular teasing session with John and instead of melting further into a subspace, he hit a wall. Not anger, not rebellion, just a deep, emotional surge of need. He needed to know when… when he’d get to feel me again, like really feel my tight pussy wrapped around him. Not as a distant fantasy with an unknown end date but as something real and immediate. That is the part many people searching topics like orgasm denial, female led relationships, and ethical non monogamy and power exchange often miss. The reality that this is often very psychological and gets you deep in your core and can cause strong emotional reactions. 

That enjoyment did come for him this morning as he struggled to even move with just the tip of his cock barely inside my warm pussy. He lasted about a minute and a half before he had to get out. He got to feel my pussy squeeze around him tight but he wasn’t allowed to orgasm. I’m still not sure if I might force that on John this weekend while he is in his cage. Denial is not about withholding forever. It is about stretching desire so that anticipation becomes its own form of intimacy. It strengthens communication and deepens trust between partners. It keeps curiosity alive in long term relationships navigating kink, ENM, and evolving power dynamics.

For us, tease and denial remains one of the most exciting things we explore. It blurs the line between emotional connection and erotic tension while reinforcing the trust that allows our dynamic with John to feel safe, intentional, and electric. We’ve learned (again) that the most intense edges are the ones we approach together, checking in, adjusting, honoring the safeword not as an end but as a recalibration that makes everything better, ok and more sustainable.

The real power isn’t in how long you can hold someone on the edge, it’s in how deeply you can bring them back to center afterward, still craving, still connected, still yours.

They are Mine

Michele

Michele's Signature

Lovense Gush 2 Remote Penis Massager

We don’t always get what we feel we need – a statement that rings true not only with chastity & denial, but also life in general. Take this past week, for example: Michele has been out of town for work for the last week, and I miss her lots. I miss touching her, feeling her, being close to her. It sucks to have her so far away. She is coming home soon, though, so that need will be fulfilled fairly soon.

There is, however, another need that has gone unfulfilled during the past week… and will most likely stay unfulfilled for longer.

My cock has not felt the touch of skin since my wife left.

Under instruction from Michele, I have not been allowed to touch my cock with my bare hands since the start of her trip. Oh, trust me, it’s been getting plenty of attention – daily edges each morning, plus any extra that Michele, or John, request have kept my sexual arousal quite heightened. But any edge or touch of my cock has been performed with some sort of barrier involved: either a glove, using a toy, or even edging in my underwear has been the norm for this week.

Denied and Edging with a barrier
This is all I’m allowed at the moment.

I honestly didn’t expect it to have that much of an effect on me. After all, my cock is still getting attention; how important is the feel of skin-on-skin when it comes to edging? Very important, apparently.

It only took until about Wednesday for me to start really feeling the difference: my cock was so desperate for a soft warm touch, I started to get oversensitive. It was hard to concentrate during work, because even contact with my underwear was driving up my arousal. By Thursday, I was slightly sorta possibly maybe considering just saying “screw it” and grabbing my dick. But I was a good boy and obeyed, even though it was difficult.

The worst part is that there’s no telling when my cock will actually feel skin again – Michele has not given me an endpoint to this, as of yet. It may be weeks where my cock doesn’t get the warm personal touch of skin. We’ve even discussed pushing the idea of “barriers” further, and not allowing me to feel her skin sexually with my hands – any time I want to feel her ass, play with her boobs, or touch her pussy, I’ll have to wear gloves. I’m not sure if she’ll be implementing that or if that’s just an idea at the moment… but I’m kinda dreading it if she decides to go through with it.

As for now, I’m destined to continue to go more and more insane as my cock misses the touch of skin for longer and longer. Michele and John will have me use toys to continue this – different toys, with varying degrees of humiliation involved while using them. But I don’t think I can turn it down; after all, I could be denied touch all together…

Maybe I shouldn’t say that out loud, for fear of giving them ideas….

As I was enjoying my coffee this morning, I was chatting with Michele like we do every morning…

OwnedsubJohn having morning coffee

I was up earlier than she was (I live in an earlier time zone) so I started my day with some grooming. I cut my hair and trimmed my beard and then I moved a little lower. Michele likes me to keep my pubic area neat and my balls shaved. As you can imagine it is a bit difficult and takes longer since I am always locked in my steelheart. I am not let out for grooming so I have figured out a pretty good method for keeping myself neat.

While I was doing this Michele got up and started her day so she asked what I was up to. After I let her know what I had been doing she asked for a pic, so I obliged. What I didn’t expect was her response

“Well that IS all cleaned up for sure…. Damn, I might suck your dick if it looks like that lol 😁”

Well that IS all cleaned up for sure…. Damn, I might suck your dick if it looks like that lol
OwnedsubJohn cleaned up and well groomed wearing Steelheart chastity cage


So needless to say, I am going to try to make sure it looks like this when I see her this weekend. I don’t expect that she will suck my dick although I probably will not resist if she wants to. Being as submissive as I am I still have to learn to accept this is something that she truly likes to do on occasion. And boy is she good at it, what a wonderful treat when she does. What really feels good is that an old man like me can still be attractive to a young lady like Michele.

I love to hear your thoughts, please leave a comment or send us an email

John

Chastity and BDSM Lifestyle Blog chastityandbdsm.com John profile picture
OwnedsubJohn

I’ve been thinking a lot, recently, about what it means to truly control pleasure, not necessarily by force, but by intention. By choosing what is withheld, what is delayed, and what is never guaranteed.

My husband doesn’t always see what’s coming, and that’s exactly how I like it. The future I’m shaping for him isn’t about cruelty. It’s about refinement, it’s about teaching his body and his mind that access is earned. That satisfaction is conditional, and is something I decide how, and if, he even gets to experience. Some things he once took for granted may just go away. While other things will become privileges he learns to crave more deeply than he ever expected. And then, of course, there are the carefully chosen allowances. The moments I let him have just enough to stay hopeful… and obedient.

We celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary this past weekend, and it turned into this eye-opening conversation about where we’re headed. We were curled up on the couch after dinner, when the talk shifted from our early kinky days to sketching out the edges of our evolving power exchange. It’s never been smooth sailing… there’s vulnerability in admitting what turns us on, especially when it pushes boundaries. But that’s the beauty of it: laying it all out there, just us figuring out what keeps the spark alive after two decades.

One thing that’s becoming non-negotiable, is the new baseline for my husband. His morning routine has changed. Before he even steps out of the bedroom, Jon will be teasing and edging his cock. It’s this deliberate start to the day that I  control completely, stroking slow and firm, pumping just enough to make pre-cum bead at the tip. No release, just that lingering ache as he gets dressed and heads out to the living room. If the mood strikes during the day, John and/or I might text him to edge himself in the bathroom at work.. fingers sliding up the underside of the head of his cock, squeezing his balls lightly… And, as always he is required to send a photo of his straining dripping dick as proof. It’s not every day, but when we choose to ramp it up, it keeps him connected to us and his mind buzzing.

Layered on top of that, the buttplug requirement adds this undercurrent of constant submission. I’ve picked out a few sizes/styles, for the days we designate… Tuesdays and Fridays, when he’s got specific, scheduled, things so he can stay consistent with it. And, if John and I are feeling playful, we might make him wear it longer or on different days or even use the NJoy wand to his prostate.

Our anniversary chat took a turn toward the horizon, though, where things get even more intense. I floated ideas about stripping away sensations entirely, making his world narrower and more controlled. Imagine no skin-on-skin contact at all. Or dialing it back so he can’t feel my pussy anymore, that slick heat clenching around him, denied… forever? We talked about limiting him to just John’s hand… strokes that bring him to the edge but never over. It’s a way to reshape his arousal, funneling it through us in ways that challenge him.

And then I pushed it further, to the extreme: what if the only path to an orgasm, or even an erection that leads anywhere, is through a man? What if he was forced to use his ”boyfriend” toy to fuck his own ass or to slide his dick in and get off? What if we took it as far as forced gay encounters as his sole outlet, him on his knees, taking a stranger’s cock down his throat or bent over, ass filled while he begs for release. No cumming unless it’s  in some guy’s ass (or some guy in his) or mouth, the humiliation twisting into fuel for his submission. I’d like to say this caused him to shift uncomfortably on the couch, as I described it, but honestly… his dick got rock hard.

We didn’t commit to any of that extreme stuff, yet of course, but it sure was fun talking about it and seeing his reaction to the possibilities. Who knows if we just unlocked a door we might step through someday. It’s not about changing who he is; it’s about expanding what he craves under my control.

Control isn’t just about what I take away. It’s about what I leave behind. The reminders that his pleasure still exists…just no longer on his terms. What he will miss will shape him. What I allow him to have will define him. And what I choose not to promise at all will keep him exactly where I want him: attentive, aching, and beautifully aware that his future pleasure lives entirely in my hands.

After all, anticipation can be far more powerful than fulfillment. And I have every intention of making the most of that.

It all begins in the mind

-M

Before I get too deep into my post…

Please note the name in the author line! With all of the changes on the blog nowadays, I figured I would throw one more at you: me, cagedmokey, SHALL BE HENFORTH KNOWN AS…

JonMustWait 🙂

Why, you ask? Well, you’re in luck because I just happened to be writing a post about that very subject!

With the… ahem… “expansion” of our kinky lives over the past little while, Michele has been able to fulfill her desires in different ways involving both John and me. John’s focus has been more about chastity (along with some other things we will get to, in good time), while my focus has shifted more towards tease and denial. What this means for me is that my cock spends a lot less time being caged…

And a lot more time being endlessly edged over and over to new and deeper depths of frustration.

And I’m not complaining! Well, I’m not complaining much… except for when I’m desperate for an orgasm, and Michele tells me no while at the same time not letting my stop having sex with her. To be honest, while I enjoyed the chastity components of our lifestyle, I always got more enjoyment and excitement out of the orgasm denial aspect.

Now, this isn’t to say that I won’t be wearing the cage anymore. In fact, there may be a new cage to show off in the near future 😉 All this means is that my focus is going to be more on denial and control… of my orgasms yes, but also a lot more than that. You’ll still hear about how Michele delights in denying me, telling me no, and telling me I need to wait for what I’m so incredibly desperate for.

Shannon left us an amazing comment recently and asked, what I thought was, a great question! We genuinely love when readers engage and ask thoughtful things like this. 

Shannon asked: “Do the three of you have discussions about John being favored for intercourse over cagedmonkey?”

One of the biggest realities of our dynamic is that it’s fluid. It doesn’t follow a fixed script, and it definitely doesn’t always line up with how these relationships are often portrayed in kink tropes or fantasy scenarios.

There are plenty of times when it might look like John is favored, especially during the lead-up. We’ll tease & edge cagedmonkey for days, sometimes a full week before John even arrives. On the surface, it can feel like John and I are the ones holding the power together, until the moment actually comes, and then… the roles can flip entirely. We don’t have sit down over coffee discussions so much as fantasy chats where we talk about different ideas or things we might want to try and see how they feel. 

Ironically, John often finds himself in the cuckold role… supporting, assisting, and serving while cagedmonkey is the one who gets to feel me and enjoy that sweet release. 😁 Other times, it goes the opposite way where cagedmonkey is the one denied, restrained, teased, or made to watch and want. There isn’t a hierarchy carved in stone, and there’s no scorecard being kept.

That’s the part people sometimes miss: real-life dynamics aren’t clean-cut. They’re responsive. We do what feels right in the moment, based on energy, desire, and connection… not on what we think we’re supposed to do.

And ultimately, it all comes down to Me. They both know that. Who is touched, who watches, who waits, who serves, it happens because that’s what I want, in that moment. That control, that ability to let the dynamic breathe and evolve… that’s the real beauty of being the woman in charge.

Thanks again for reading, and for being curious enough to ask. That’s what keeps these conversations fun and real. 

Look forward to more.

M

There’s a quiet kind of allure in power – one that hums beneath the surface rather than flashes in bold strokes. It’s never just about the lock, the key, or the cage. It’s in the anticipation, the glances, the knowing smirk across the room. For me, that’s where some of the real seduction lives.

When my husband and I first began exploring male chastity, it was thrilling and raw. We played with duration, with denial, with the rules. There were weeks, months even,  when he was locked and utterly at my mercy, and I loved every second of it. But something began to shift in me. Tease and denial took on a new tone. It wasn’t about how long he could go locked; it became about how long I could keep him in that delicious state of arousal, balanced on the edge and aching. Oftentimes I’d let him out but not let him have. That, to me, was power. And it was intoxicating.

But as life often does, it moved – fast and full. Let me tease you a little before we get any deeper into denial, and talk a little about the reality of living this life. It’s not all perfect fun and sexy games. That’s something we’ve always wanted to make clear here from the beginning. Right after moving into the second house in Indiana and getting through the crazy world we all lived through in 2020 the kids were hitting middle school, then high school. Between school activities, multiple work & teaching schedules, sports practices, my own health issues – which were many and a big struggle – and the daily chaos of life, the hours I once spent plotting sensual mind games became precious and rare.

And I won’t sugarcoat it… those hot, teasing nights happened less and less. Not because the desire disappeared, but because the space for it shrunk. My kink didn’t die; it simply got quieter. It rode in the backseat while I drove the family minivan… well SUV but you get it and held the world together.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that getting older came with its own kind of allure – a deeper, more grounded one. It’s in knowing what I want and owning when I no longer have the energy to chase it like I used to. And that’s okay. The truth is, control doesn’t always have to be loud or constant. Sometimes it’s in the knowing glance when he walks by, the subtle touch that reminds him who I am… Who we are. Even if the device hasn’t come out in months.

It’s not about fading away, it’s about evolving. The kinks are still there, just dressed a little differently these days. And honestly? That teasing from afar, can be even hotter now that we’ve lived through all the loud, fast parts of life.

To those of you lovely readers who are in the middle of the storm of life, don’t feel guilty if your fetish takes a nap. It doesn’t mean you’re less kinky. It just means you’re human. Power shifts. Desires grow up with us. And sometimes, the softest form of dominance is just making them wait… longer than they ever thought they could.

More to come,
Madam Allure

Hello everybody! It’s great to be back and posting on the blog. As Madam has alluded to, there have been some significant changes to our lifestyle; however, the soul and the foundation of our kinks haven’t changed: Madam is still controlling my cock, teasing and denying me of my orgasms (and some other things, as well). While I don’t spend as much time in a chastity cage as I did in the past, Madam still gets her kicks over keeping a cock locked and under her control. How exactly do we manage that? Well…. that will be explained in due time, I promise.

As for now… it’s wonderful to be back and posting on the blog, and we’re excited to catch you up on all of the developments that went on during our absence!

A couple weeks ago we posted a blog post about how it’s been 226 days for Cagedmonkey since his last orgasm and a friend, at She rules the Rooster, had some really good questions I figured we should answer in a post as opposed to them getting lost in the comments section. I’m sure other people have had the thought about what I’m getting out of such a long denial period for hubby. I mean, if we were poly or into cuckolding, that answer would be easy but we aren’t so it becomes a bit more complicated in the “what does Lady M get out of it” area.

When it comes down to what I’m doing daily… My sheer extreme sexiness is what teases him, don’t you know?!?! Lmao Seriously though the daily stuff is all about the little things. I’ve pointed out in posts before and even in a podcast if I remember right about the little things. Keeping things talked about, even if it’s in text message or little flirty butt grabs when the kids aren’t around. Making him kneel in front of me while I sit on the couch… It might look innocent enough like daddy is snuggling with mom giving her a hug but to CM and I there is much more behind it.

Making sure that we both know the why’s behind the denial and the lock up are so important. Otherwise, it just becomes an afterthought and can actually become work. So talking about and knowing that I love to see and feel the frustration he is going through makes my pussy wet causes an amazing circle of turning him on which again just turns me on.

At the moment, pleasing me in some fashion is at least three times a week but we say there is so much more to intimacy than actual sex so much more becomes pleasing. CM is pleasing me daily but that wouldn’t look like him eating my pussy or making me come or any of that… It’s more like a back rub or spooning snuggle time or maybe just some boobie play time. Yes most days of the week I am having him give my pussy some mouth attention and maybe some fingering. The day to day stuff though isn’t some long intense teasing session. During the week we are usually tired and in bed early for a 4:30 or 5am wake up. So they are quick “my pussy needs good night kisses” while I run my nails across his back and butt type nights.

There are nights I make him sit or kneel at the side of the bed with his arms clasped behind him. I will take my boobs and smoosh them in his face, make him smell and lick under them so he can’t really get an idea of my day. Then I may run my nipples across his lips, not allowing him to open his mouth. It’s so fun to watch and feel his breathing as he gets so frustrated, desperately wanting to feel it in his mouth and on his tongue. He will even whimper and beg sometimes, “please.” hahaha I love it so much!

I’ll be honest with you… I have in no way been counting how many orgasms I’ve had. I just have them when I have them and when I want them. Most nights our pleasing and teasing is a short thing so I don’t even really want to cum. It’s more work on a woman than you think lol. It takes a lot of thinking and then there’s this whole body muscle tightening thing that goes on. With my chronic pain, orgasms tend to last a few days within my muscles and make things sore so it’s just as good to enjoy the pleasing than to have some intense orgasms all the time. If I were to really think about it is probably been about 1 a week average… So you figure that out… About 300 days divided by 7 lol!

Anyway, thanks for the comment and I do apologize for the delay in getting it posted… It’s sat in my drafts and been worked on as much as I can when I get a moment! I appreciate you reading and being subscribed! If you haven’t checked out She Rules the Rooster, yet, what are you waiting for? It’s always fun to see how other people live their lifestyle… Get on it!

Although life has been exceptionally busy, we are still around. It seems like 2020 has started out one of the craziest years of our lives. With injuries, kid issues, hubby’s surgery, “vacation” and then this whole thing going on in the world. It’s a bit unbelievable actually. It’s even comical at times.

We’ve had zero to little time to think about anything kinky in the past few months. You’d think that with hubby and I having essential jobs we’d be even more stressed out… Funny thing is, since I’m working from home right now I’ve had way more time to think about hubby and chat with him and tease him through text. I can even sneak away (since schools are closed and the kids are gone too!) sometimes and get pictures and have been turned on and excited to drive him crazy!
Hubby has still been denied since our anniversary in January and it’s still my plan to keep him orgasm denied for the year. I’ve enjoyed having him out of his cage enough to edge for me sometimes, and to have sex with him when I feel like it. He’s been doing something recently again and that’s getting on his knees for me. When we started this whole thing he would get on his knees every day and tell me who’s he was, that he was mine and no one else. Lately, he’s been doing that and I love it!

He’s also been taking time to kiss and love and worship different parts of my body. He’s remembering that it’s not all about intercourse and that sex can be in many forms. It’s feels extremely good to have him loving all the parts of me! It’s been a lot of fun finding time to get in those little things that remind each other that we are still enjoying our life together. That we still enjoy the kinky, even if we can’t get as kinky as we want due to the kids being older.

I know we both miss it and wish we had time for it… The kids won’t be kids forever, they won’t need us forever. I’m trying to remember this is temporary. They are only ours to enjoy and do things with for a few more years and if we keep pushing them away we will miss these last few years. I DO want time for hubby and I but I know the time we do get together will grow as the kids get even older.

As bad as this whole thing is in the world, it’s been a blessing for us as a couple and a time for us to reconnect to our tease and denial and fun times. It’s also helped to open some communication and while we know we don’t have an the crew time in the world we at least have been able to talk about what we are missing and what we’d like to be doing.