For those of you looking to hear about my hot sexy experiences at the club… this is going to be a little bit of a different post than you’ll most likely be expecting. My time at the sex club was fairly tame for most of the night… except for one part.
I got jerked off in the middle of a group of people…
The three of us ventured upstairs in the club to an area where a number of beds were lined up. Each bed had two sets of curtains, one blackout curtain and one see-through. The area was designed for exhibitionists to have sex in public while others were around… or even watched. While we were there, we saw one couple fucking with the curtains wide open for all to see.
Damn, it was hot as hell.
While we stood there, Michele asked me if I liked watching. She reached down and started rubbing my hardening cock through my pants, and said, “Seems like you do like it!” John’s hand was not far behind, sliding down the inside of my pants and wrapping around the base of my cock. My knees got weak and my cock started to drip precum into my underwear. They were teasing my cock while we stood there with a group of people watching another couple have sex less than 5 feet away from us.
Ok, maybe there is some of that hot sexy experience you were expecting in this post. 🙂
But for the most part, my time at the club was a somewhat disappointing… but I realize now that it was all my fault.
What went wrong?
I felt very uncomfortable at the club – a large portion of the club was dedicated to impact play (which is more of John’s thing than mine). But in reality, my lack of comfort was my own doing. You see… there were some sexy people at that club, and they were looking good. There was tons of things to see and watch and get excited over – we weren’t even five steps into the club before we saw a guy getting his cock sucked and then fucking a woman doggystyle up against a St. Andrew’s cross, for fuck’s sake 😂 – but I was scared.
Scared to look.
Scared to enjoy.
I had trouble letting go because I’ve found myself in a place lately where I’m scared about triggering negative feelings in Michele. I worry that that I’m going to make her feel inadequate if I indulge myself in enjoying the beautiness of others. I’m nervous that if I share ideas and fantasies that she’s not into, that she’ll look at me differently and not want to play anymore.
It didn’t used to be like this, and I’m not sure why I got to this place. But now, instead of enjoying an edgy situation I wall myself off. Instead of sharing kinky ideas and scenarios I think about, I give up on them. And when they ask me about things I want, I give dishonest answers.
For example:
Not long into the club (after the scene we witnessed that I described earlier), we were talking about what we were interested in doing. John and Michele were interested in the spankings going on around us, while I shrugged my shoulders. Then Michele said, “How about we strap you to one of those crosses and get someone to suck your dick?”
How do I answer that question?
If I say yes, then I could trigger Michele’s negative emotions. But if I say no, then I’m ruining the fun.
So I just stammered and said something along the lines of, “I dunno…”
What did we learn today?
It was like that all night – I followed them around, and I just kinda sat there while avoiding looking at or doing anything or anyone. (I only realized while typing that out how “doing anyone” is represented in that sentence 😂) There were other questions they asked that I avoided out of fear. They were able to snap me out of it somewhat while teasing me upstairs, but I was still guarded. I wasn’t enjoying it to the fullest. And when read Michele’s description of looking into the woman’s eyes while she was getting fucked, I felt a pang of jealousy. I wanted to have that fun. I should have been having that fun.
I was seriously considering letting Michele and John go to the club without me next time. But while thinking about that and writing this post, I changed my mind. In fact, I changed my mind about a lot of things.
I’m done with this guarded behavior. I’m done not being honest with them (and myself) about the things I want and the ideas that excite me. I’m done avoiding answering the questions they ask me. Maybe this will help me reconnect with what we do here. And who knows… maybe I’ll even have some brand new experiences along the way!
Jon
