tease and denial

All posts tagged tease and denial

Keyholder Dilemma – Do I Want Him To Disobey Me?

Posted by Lady M on January 27, 2014
Posted in: Discipline, Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Sex, Tease & Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 3 comments

Being a wife and Keyholder can bring on a lot of confusing and conflicting feelings. Especially when it comes to whether or not we want to allow our sweet locked up boys to orgasm.

I noticed last night as cagedmonkey and I were messing around that I had this feeling of wanting him to be so horny for me that he would just take me. That’s all fine and dandy because I have such a devoted, good boy that I can take his hand and put it on the back of my head and he knows I want him to grab my hair, flip me on to the couch and slide into me. What he also knows is that I don’t want him to cum while having his way with me… and he won’t.

While 99.999999% of the time I do not want him to, I really think there is this itty bitty part of me that wishes I could push him past the point of being a good boy. I said, I THINK! It really felt like it last night. I felt like I wished he was so horny he would disobey me. Of course if he did, he’d be punished for it because it would be cumming without permission but maybe part of me wants that? Maybe part of me wants him to disobey so I can punish him? I really DON’T want him to cum. However, there is this little part of me wants to know if I’m THAT irresistible. Could I possibly get him so horny that it pushes him so far as to not be the extremely devoted good boy that he is.

Perhaps just getting him to a begging, pleading, practically crying mess will satisfy my “am I irresistible?” feeling. It’s so frustrating because like I said I really don’t want him to but maybe I do want him to challenge me!

Anyway… I’m not sure what I really want but cagedmonkey and I talked about this very thing today because that’s what you do in a relationship. You talk, about everything! I told him how conflicting the feelings were but that the “don’t orgasm” feelings beat out the “disobey me” ones. We talked about how we could get to a point of, in the moment, letting him know that he had a choice to obey my rules or disobey them. Well really he always has that choice but if he disobeyed at any other time I would be extremely disappointed and probably get depressed and his punishment would be pretty severe. If there was that moment of me being like “well I wouldn’t be devastated if he was so so so bad that he just had to disobey me and take me” I would need to be able to let him know. If it was a moment like that where I let him know with a few choice words there would still be consequences but perhaps no where near as harsh as him making that decision on his own whim.

I’m telling you… if you ever think your wife, girlfriend, partner and Keyholder has an easy job, you are very mistaken! A lot of us get these conflicted feelings. That’s not to say everyone does but I’m sure a good amount of us do.

Male Chastity Makes Me Horny

Posted by Lady M on January 26, 2014
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Sex, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

You probably thought this post would be from cagedmonkey, huh? Well it’s not, it’s from me! This whole chastity thing seriously gets me going. I’m constantly horny, constantly wet, ready and waiting to be pleased.

It’s so crazy that sometimes I’ll misread things and turn them sexual. And even the other night cagedmonkey was eating a tomato – yes a tomato – and I got all kinds of turned on. The way he was eating it and slurping up the juices reminded me so much of him eating my pussy. I just love it so much to lay back, head on a pillow, back arched, legs spread while he kisses, licks, sucks and pleases my pussy. How he basically makes out with my pussy lips and tongues my clit.

I really just shook my like, “why the hell an I thinking like that?” LoL

Taking a Chance

Posted by cagedmonkey on January 17, 2014
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 3 comments

roulette_lg

To celebrate our anniversary this weekend, My Lady and I are taking a trip to a local casino for some gambling & drinking fun. She even set us up with a babysitter for the day so we can go and enjoy ourselves without the kids in tow. What a wonderful anniversary gift for BOTH of us!

Until, of course, I open my big mouth.

You see, part of our agreement is that I tell ML about any and all fantasies or ideas that I get that involve our sex life. ML has been struggling with the decision on whether or not to let me cum on our anniversary – she REALLY wants me to fill her up with a nice hot load of cum, but she also REALLY wants to push me further. She couldn’t decide. That’s when my kinky, creative brain kicked in and came up with an idea that she seems to like a helluva lot more than I probably will.

Here’s my idea – we are going to find the roulette table in the casino and choose one spin to dictate a number. That number will determine how many extra days will be added to my current stint of orgasm denial. Thanks to the zero and double zero spaces, I actually have a 1/19 (~5%) chance to cum that night. However, I also risk the possibility of having to go another thirty six days without an orgasm. Considering I am already approaching three weeks without an orgasm, the longest time since we’ve started our chastity lifestyle without cumming, adding another month-plus on the back end is going to be torture. I know what I’m rooting for. What My Lady is hoping for is a mystery to me…

Wish me luck!

Christmas Break – Chastity Vacation

Posted by Lady M on December 26, 2013
Posted in: Chastity Device, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Sex. Tagged: , , , . 3 comments

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Well Christmas has come and gone. Cagedmonkey was unlocked at about 8am on Christmas eve morning, endured almost 24 hours of teasing, edging and even penetration, before being allowed release. His gift Christmas morning was being allowed to cum inside me. I know he was very worried I was going to make him wait until next year for a release and honestly, I hadn’t made the decision if he would cum or not until about 5 minutes before whispering in his ear.

Since that initial release he’s had a little “vacation” from his chastity device. Since we live a 24/7/365 type chastity lifestyle, it’s rare he is out for more than a few hours at a time. He actually had a chance to leave the house and even go to work without his cage. It did take a good amount of trust on my part but I believe he was the good boy he said he was.

Today will end that little vacation he’s had and the orgasm free for all. The past few days he’s really been able to cum when he wants. Still not allowed to masturbate without permission and even though he didn’t have to, he still asked to cum each time. With the exception of this morning. He got home from work, came in and surprised me with a wet warm tongue in my ass, flipped my half-asleep ass over, licked my pussy and then slid his big thick cock inside and filled me again with his cum. I know it’s something he was looking forward to being able to do. Since he’s always locked it was a nice treat, I’m sure, to be able to come home and fuck his wife. 🙂

So as I said, today the monkey will be caged again with the knowledge that he will not have a chance at release until our anniversary in mid January.

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Woke Up To a “White” Christmas

Posted by Lady M on December 25, 2013
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Sex. Tagged: , , . 2 comments

When cagedmonkey got home from work yesterday morning I surprised him by unlocking him. Being unlocked certainly didn’t come without consequence. Since he was going to bed without his cage on, his hands were to be restrained so we didn’t have any accidents! 🙂

I spent most of the day yesterday teasing him. Even while he was trying to sleep I went up and edged him while he was restrained a few times and then drove him absolutely bonkers all day. I edged him throughout the day, let him feel between my pussy lips but not enter me… since it wasn’t actually Christmas yet! 🙂 It really was a fun day of tease and denial.

It was rather interesting going out. While I have him caged he doesn’t have any worries since he can’t get hard but when unlocked and I turn him on in public he’s got a big boner to hide haha. I had a lot of fun making him have to hide it last night.

Cagedmonkey and I had a great night we took a shower together and I got quite loud in there as I let him penetrate me. I allowed him to fuck my ass, however it wasn’t very long as my loud moaning and squealing got him very worked up and he wasn’t yet allowed to cum. We laid together watching some stuff on Netflix and groping each other and making out. We ended up going to bed and he still hadn’t gotten a chance to cum. I’m sure it was frustrating in the middle of the night when he asked to enter me and I said yes but then again denied him orgasm. That happened a couple times.

At about 5:30am – almost 24 hours after I unlocked him – I whispered in his ear while he was sleeping, “cum for me” and in a split second he was hard and on top of me slowly making love to me and gushing his huge load of denied cum deep in my pussy filling me up completely. It felt so good to have his cock pulse inside me emptying his cum in me. I just shook in ecstasy afterwards while he held me in his arms.

What a fantastic “white” Christmas morning. I hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy your holiday as much as we have so far! 🙂

Conversations in Chastity – Developing Situations

Posted by Lady M on December 21, 2013
Posted in: Conversations, KeyHolder, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

(Lady and cagedmonkey feel that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and especially important in a chastity relationship. Occasionally, Lady and cagedmonkey will shed some light on what these conversations are like. What follows is a discussion between the two of them, all while posting to the blog.)

CM: So I wanted to ask you something…

Lady: ok?
 
CM: Does your intense arousal level push you farther in denying me, or does denying me increase your arousal level? Or is it chicken and egg?
 
Lady: Oh boy… uhhh… honestly I don’t know!
 
CM: Because I definitely see it feed both ways…. When you see how desperate I am, your pussy soaks, and other times you get so turned on, you really take teasing me to another level.
 
Lady: Oh definitely! I get extremely turned on by your desperation… but making you get to the point of desperation is extremely arousing

CM: But when you get turned on, you want to push me more.
 
Lady: Sitting here… I might have to say the bigger more arousing thing is seeing and feeling your ache, your desperate need for me. It’s like the one is the initial turn on but the big big thing is you being there and it makes me want to push you more so I feel more – maybe

CM: Another question – When we first started, you said that no matter how much I pleased you while locked, you would still need my cock. Is that starting to change? 
 
Lady: Definitely not.

 
CM: Ok good 🙂
 
Lady: I still need and want you very very badly… the part that changed is my will power and that I see how you get the longer I deny you so I want to make myself hold off but it’s very difficult

CM: But I sense the need to make me cum has subsided quite a bit.

Lady: THAT has totally changed! I used to feel like I had to give you an orgasm to keep you happy and wanting to be with me… now… I don’t feel that way at all.
 
CM: Do you still want/need my help?
 
Lady: Your help to deny you? I don’t think so… I don’t need you to not ask for fear that I might give in. If I “give in” it’s because I want to not because of what you do or don’t do

CM: What about you though? The feel of my cock surging inside you, filling you up…. You said before that you need that. Not anymore?

Lady: I DO need it… I just know if I force myself to wait it will be that much more fantastic

CM: So it’s more like you want it, but you can wait for it
 
Lady: Oh hell I want it, need it, ache for it but I’m able to control it – with the help of the device. If the device wasn’t there I’d give in and fuck you all the time

CM: I wish! Do you think you’ll ever be able to progress from “want” to “need”? I just realized this sounds like pressuring but it’s not, just curious
 
Lady: I don’t feel this as pressuring at all, dear

CM: Ok good 🙂
 
Lady: What do you mean progress from want to need?
 
CM: Basically, i’m wondering if we will get to the stage where you can keep me cum-less indefinitely without “denying” yourself….. I don’t mean permanent (God no), but for as long as you like with no limits
 
Lady: You mean without feeling like I’m denying myself?
 
CM: Yes.
 
Lady: I think my levels will/are changing as to when I start to NEED to feel you, see you or want you to cum.
 
CM: Ok. For your information, I’m hoping we can get there. I want you to have everything you want but still be able to deny me for as long as you wish (weeks, months, etc)

Lady: That’s the overall plan 🙂
 
CM: I don’t want anything to influence you, including your cravings.
 
Lady: I’m slowly building my “tolerance” or ability to hold off on feeling you… it’s not easy because looking back, 10 days kicks my ass (right about now!) but I’m getting better at getting through by not unlocking you on vulnerable days!
 
CM: But what happens if a non vulnerable day turns into a vulnerable day? 🙂
 
Lady: Well… I guess we’ll have to cross that bridge when we get there 🙂

 
CM: I’m just afraid one day I’ll be inside  you and you’ll cave in the middle of a MASSIVE denial period 🙂
 
Lady: If that happened, we start over… we have so many years ahead! 🙂
 
CM: True…  I just  wanna wanna wanna wanna  do  this right!
 
Lady: There is no right or wrong, darling How we do it IS right!

CM: Got that right!

Why Would Anyone Want Their Dick in a Cage?

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 18, 2013
Posted in: Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

I used to feel the same way.

There was a time when I was younger that my main kink was tease & orgasm denial. I was very turned on by the idea of being brought to the edge of orgasm over and over, but not be allowed to cum – for hours or even days at a time. Bondage, of course, came along with this as well, reinforcing the idea that I was dependent on the woman teasing me to give me an orgasm when she desired.

While indulging in my fantasies by reading stories and such, I would frequently come across the subject of male chastity. I didn’t quite get it. “I want to be teased, not left alone and ignored!” was my thought process. I wanted the woman to play with me, drive me crazy, and make me beg to cum. How was that supposed to happen with my cock locked away in a contraption that kept it from being touched?

I’m not sure when the tide began to turn, but the sense of control started to fascinate me. My OD fetish was basically a control fetish – giving up control of my orgasm to someone else. Male chastity had the same principles, only more so – not only would my orgasm be under control of someone else, but also my ability to touch myself, even the ability to simply get hard would be taken from me. And isn’t male chastity just a more personal, more intense, constant form of bondage?

THAT was when it really clicked for me.

I could not fathom what that must feel like – to be crazy horny and turned on, and yet not be able to do anything about it. Forget having an orgasm, even having an erection is not possible when in chastity. Could I handle it? Could I go weeks without an erection? Months?

And I will tell you this…. the feeling is even more mind blowing that I thought it could be.

I am still amazed and thrilled by the amount of power My Lady has over my sexuality. I only get hard when and if she allows it. I only get to feel the soft walls of her warm, wet pussy when she desires it. I only get to cum when she wants me to. And there is nothing I can do about it, besides beg and plead and accept her answer. Meanwhile, she gets to cum whenever and however she demands.

There are days I still look down and see the cage locked onto me, and I think, “Jesus, this is fucking CRAZY!” But, honestly, there is no other way I would rather have it. Ironically, her control over me gives me the freedom to focus on pleasing her. I know that if and when I’m allowed to fuck ML and cum deep inside her, I will have earned it through my devotion to her.

My Favorite Kind of Orgasm

Posted by Lady M on December 12, 2013
Posted in: KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Sex. Tagged: , , , , . 8 comments

I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about my favorite orgasms – to give to cagedmonkey! For the purposes of this post I’m going to refer to two types of male orgasm, the full orgasm and the ruined orgasm.

I’m sure I don’t need to describe a full orgasm to anyone. You boys have likely had plenty of them… before chastity and orgasm denial that is! You all know this is the full spasm having enjoyable spurting cum orgasm. Even though it’s not necessary to expel cum by the way! You can have a full orgasm, spasms and all but not release any cum.

Now on to the ruined orgasm, which I’m sure you can figure out. Basically it is bringing your guy to the edge and juuuuuuuuuuuuuuust getting him to the point where he will drop of the other side and completely stopping all stimulation. Usually, if you get it just right, cum will ooze out but there will be no pleasurable spasms.

Now the ruined orgasm is my favorite one to give hubby since it leaves him still frustrated and horny. However, my absolute favorite ruined orgasm is giving him one while he is still in his cage. I just love that he is so horny, so turned on, so ready to explode at any minute that I can simply stimulate him through the bars in his cage and get him to have a half sorta kinda orgasm. The look on his face and the way his body moves and the moans that come out of him are wonderful and the just make me giggle! 🙂

Keyholder Epiphany

Posted by Lady M on December 3, 2013
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, KeyHolder, Male Chastity, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 3 comments

Epiphany: a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple

It sounds weird to say this but it feels almost as if a weight has been lifted from me. After our conversation last night I got to thinking about what I really wanted and how I wanted to play with hubby. After all, he gave me the beautiful gift of regaining my natural dominance, so I’m in charge.

So what do I want from the chastity? Well, easy, I want the device on at all times unless I unlock him for play time, tease time or for my using. It’s my toy locked up in my toy box. 🙂 *giggle*

So, what about the Tease & Denial? Well in all my pondering last night, I realized what I want is not called “Orgasm Denial.” It’s called “Orgasm Control” because I want to be in control of if he cums, when he cums, how he cums and how much he cums! If I feel like spending an entire day using him over and over to drain every bit of cum from him then so be it. I unlock him, use him and lock him back up. If I want to deny him for 40 days for the fun of it then so be it! If I want some mix of the two, I can have it. If I change my mind in the middle of it all, I can! 🙂

I’ve finally got my brain on board knowing that all of these things are my decision. No more feeling like I promised to lock him up for a length of time and not wanting to disappoint him or upset him or “do it wrong” or not the way he wants it. I’m in control, I hold the power to use him for my pleasure in whatever way I choose. I hold the power to allow him an erection or force him to have one all day, if I want! I hold the power to deny him orgasms for as long as I feel like having him behaving in an awesome attentive way towards me. If I feel like asserting my dominance and taking him as mine every night for a week, I hold that power.

I hold all the power when it comes to his sexual feelings, sensations and releases. The one part I want to explore more in our relationship is the Wife Led part. I’m curious about what it would feel like to be completely in control of everything he does. I don’t want this all the time because I’m not into having a slave but I think once in awhile having a very submissive session of play would be fun. I have no idea as I’ve never done it, never been overpowering dominant and/or demanding but maybe I want to see what it’s like! We were talking the other day and he mentioned scrubbing the kitchen floor naked while I supervised (probably half joking, I’m sure lol). At that moment something happened to me I was not expecting… I suddenly got extremely aroused at the thought of him serving me that way. Though at the same time my head was like wtf that’s so wrong! Cagedmonkey and I have said that it can never hurt to try something… we might like it. He’s not all into serving that way (not into being a slave nor do I want one) but he’s not against the session happening once in awhile if it is something we both enjoy. So we’re off to try new things once again and explore what feels good!

Ok so that was my epiphany overnight… see what happens when you stay up until after 4am!

Wish me luck! 🙂