Marriage

“Sex” For Us

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 19, 2015
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Sex, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . 4 comments

I ran across this article on Yahoo and it started me thinking that ML and I must seem like a huge outlier. I mean, we are probably as content as we’ve ever been in our marriage, and we very often – in fact, regularly – go more than a week without having sex.

Then again, that’s by design. In fact, our chastity lifestyle has caused us to redefine what “sex” is for us. Of course, PIV-intercourse counts, but there is so much more that we do that ends up making the whole “cock & pussy” thing almost a minimal part of our sex life.

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Damn fucking good, but still minimal.

Take this morning, for example. ML and I woke up a little late, so we were rushing around a little bit getting me ready for work… but I still had time to kneel in front of her to show my submission to her. And she uses that time to tease me with her beautiful tits, making me want them but also making me wait until she was ready for me to have them. It was a small moment, but it have both of us a sexual charge that lasted well into the day.

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Wouldn't this keep you horny all day long?

My Lady and I “have sex” in so many ways. We can do an intense domination scene with bondage and pegging, or just simple snuggling and kissing in bed…. it’s all sex for us. Even just a simple smile and a knowing glance can have that sexual edge to it. (And yes… I just did it, and it was great!)

So, I guess we actually have sex more than once a week. In fact, we are pretty much having sex with each other all throughout the day. That still makes us an outlier, though… incredibly happy, in spite of all the sex we have. 🙂

Controlling the Man

Posted by Lady M on November 11, 2015
Posted in: D/s, Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Wife Led Marriage. 6 comments

One of the things I am asked often is Do I or why don’t I have cagedmonkey shave completely or dress in panties or [insert sissy/feminization reference here]? The simple answer is: I don’t want him to.

The more complex answer is something interesting I’ve been realizing slowly about myself. Over the last couple years, traveling along this kinky road, I’ve often analyzed my reasons for liking certain sexual things. Sometimes I’ve given up on analyzing some stuff because there is no rhyme or reason why that thing turns me on. Most things, however, I can link to a good event or even a trauma (mostly traumas!) in my past and that act is simply helping me work through the emotional baggage from the past.

I’m not going to get into my childhood traumas but simply put, I was sexually abused by a man early in life and, as you can imagine it left that little girl very vulnerable and helpless. So, for me and my complex answer as to why I don’t want some sissy, feminine guy for a submissive husband, it’s simply that I get off on controlling a man. Knowing that this man who could on the outside obviously take care of anything he needed to but is submissive to me, kneels before me and is locked in a chastity cage for me and is controlled sexually by me.

For me, it’s more of a turn on to control the big strong man and to have myself a submissive man for a husband.

Long Locked

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 2, 2015
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Marriage, Orgasm Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , . Leave a Comment

(Taking a small break from the group sex weekend posts…. Don’t worry, the rest of the weekend will be posted)

I have to admit, I haven’t been the best sub I can be lately. I’ve been serving My Lady, being a good boy and satisfying her whenever and however she wishes, but I haven’t been submitting fully and completely to her. I’ve been wanting too much, and I’ve been making my wants known just a little too often.

There’s a difference between sharing my fantasies with My Lady, and telling her what I’d like her to do to me. I’m usually pretty good at avoiding the whole “top from the bottom” thing, but I’m far from perfect. My attitude has been contributing to some of ML’s down mood over the past week or so because she is afraid she is disappointing me. I shouldn’t be disappointed about anything because I shouldn’t be expecting anything.

Why am I having such trouble submitting? I’m almost sure it’s because of ML’s chastity plans for me – she wants to keep me locked 24/7 until Christmas. Forget having to go 2 months without an orgasm; I’m going to go 2 months without have a single full erection. And, honestly, that scares me.

When facing such a long lockup, I naturally want to have one last whatever-it-is that I want. In the past (both childhood and in our marriage), if something didn’t happen on a regular basis, there was a chance that it would be forgotten/phased out/etc. My mind thinks that if I have to wait that long (or, for some activities that we haven’t done for a while, even longer than a few months), will ML be interested? Has she already lost interest in some things that have faded from view? Are there things that we’ve done once and I’ve enjoyed, but will never happen again just because “it’s not something we do anymore”?

I hate these questions, because I hate not having the answers. But the beauty of submitting is that I don’t need the answers to these questions. All I need to know is that I belong to My Lady, and she wants what she wants. The answers to those questions are irrelevant if my focus is on her pleasure and fulfilling her desires.

No Time For a Title

Posted by Lady M on October 17, 2015
Posted in: D/s, Family, Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

Recently I’ve noticed I have been feeling off and unsettled about our tease and torture and our D/s side of things because there isn’t much. I feel so busy lately and unorganized because, even after a month here, the OCD side of me is uneasy. Things aren’t just where I want them, days don’t go exactly as planned… I admit I’m a control freak and I feel like all the little things added up mean I have no control. It’s weird, I know, but there is so much I want to accomplish and so much I’d like to do – in regular vanilla life as well as our sexual, kinky, intimate one but I never seem to have enough time to do it.

Flipping our schedule around after soooooo many years is a lot harder to adjust to and still, things are changing! We recently found out that homeschool kids here in our new state are allowed to take a couple classes in the public school and that the school offers homeschool kids all the curriculum and textbooks, etc that the kids are using in public school. So we have begun looking into getting our daughter into a couple classes a day at school so I could have an hour or so to myself on weekdays. I’ve actually considered the fact that she may do well and like it and want to actually try going full days at some point… Which has me thinking stupid and emotional for all kinds of dumb reasons. I’m excited that that might happen but scared and anxious over it too.

All of these things with kids activities (it’s our son’s team won their 2nd round of playoffs for football today! They are off to the Superbowl!), school, errands and all that has left me with little time to get the rest of the boxes unpacked or taken over to our storage unit. Which I just got the other day because there is no storage here at the house and we can’t even get in our closets because we’ve tried to pack everything in there. Let alone having room to set up and use our sex toys! Haha

That’s been another struggle. I have no room to set things up which, with the little time we have, needs to be done before we can play. We don’t have time to set things up at night when we want to use them and then play and put it away after, etc. Anyway, excuses excuses! I really want to get our room set up in a better way, get the boxes and bins of decorations and stuff put away so we have room to actually play. I want to get a rug for the floor so we are able to set up the stockade. Really, can you see my dilemma? There is so much I want to do and so little time to get things done. Which is why I actually think having my daughter gone for an hour or so a day might be good so that I can do some of the things I want to do.

With all of this stuff I want to get done and feeling like I never have time for any of it, I find myself doubting my ability. Doubting if I’m a good mom, a good wife, a good teacher, etc. I start getting anxious and worrying if I’m keeping my hubby satisfied. Does he know how much I love and adore him and that I find him incredibly sexy? I start to worry if I’m teasing him enough, if I am good enough for him, pretty enough for him, sexy enough for him. My mind races and races in 90 directions of stupid. When I’m not in control, I worry and I am not liking the ups and downs and changes and the lack of flow!

Another note for you all is that we found we really like it here and we have talked about and started looking into sticking in some roots. That means we put the wheels in motion to either buy or build a house! That in itself is scary and exciting!

Ok I think I’ve caught you guys up on my anxiety and my crazy and what’s going on in our lives!

How are you all doing these days?

It’s So Hard

Posted by Lady M on September 20, 2015
Posted in: Family, Marriage. Tagged: , , , . Leave a Comment

It’s been almost 10 years since cagedmonkey has had a regular day shift schedule. He has worked so hard to provide for our family. He has made me so proud to be his wife and the mother of his children. We made the choice together, 10 years ago, that I was going to stay home with the kids (at the time it was just one). Which meant we needed more money from his income to survive. That meant going to an off shift for the differential pay. We knew it was temporary but we never expected temporary to last 10 years lol. Over that time hubby has put so much into his job, went to school for some extra letters after his name and busted ass to become supervisor ready. Then the job he was at for 12years let him down and we ultimately moved here to West Virginia. Which, by the way, is beautiful and we really do like it here!

I never knew, after 10 years, how conditioned I was that I put the kids to bed and Yay! I have a few minutes to spend with hubby before he goes to work. He’s been off that schedule for about a month now, you would think it would go away by now but, still, every night I have to remind myself… I have ALL night with him. I actually get to sleep in bed with him every night. We go to bed together, we hold each other (most of the night unless it’s too hot LoL), we wake up together. It truly is something I feel others might take for granted. I cannot even begin to express that feeling of relief I get every night when I realize, “oh! He doesn’t have to go to work tonight.” And yes, I still get it every night! It’s weird!

The other thing that’s been so hard to adjust to with this whole day shift thing is just how much I miss the man I love. When he was working nights we chatted in text messages through half the night and then I’d fall asleep. I sure missed him but half the time he was gone I was sleeping. During my awake time he was sleeping but I still had access to him. 🙂 it’s so different now that he’s working and we are awake and asleep at the same times. I feel like I miss him much more now when I only get a text or two at his breaks and lunches. I know I will get used to it, it’s only been a week. Trust me that I appreciate that it’s something I have to get used to. He has worked hard to get to this spot and we, as a couple and a family, have been through a lot to get here too. I love the place we are in. I love the relationship we have now, the intimacy level and the communication between us has never been better. Not to mention the amazing, awesome, kinky sex we have! 🙂

I really want to thank our readers for being a part of this with us. It’s so fun to have met some amazing friends who we can totally be ourselves with. We love the questions we get and the conversations we have but more than that I think we really appreciate the love and support our new friends have offered!

It’s Not All Fun and Kinky Games

Posted by Lady M on August 14, 2015
Posted in: Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . 7 comments

When I woke up this morning I never expected my day to go so bad. I started my day and as I went along I could feel my chest and throat felt tight. I could breathe but swallowing felt really tight. My chest and ribs also had this sensation of vibrating, jittery and shaking inside. My brain was so foggy I was having trouble thinking and focusing. As the day went on my chest and throat got tighter and the shaking in my chest was really strong. I even texted Mistress Marie to chat about my anxiety and that helped it for a little bit but it didn’t hold out.

My anxiety was in high gear. I’ve been stressed out with packing the house, I was becoming depressed and full of anxiety, worry and fear. Fear that I’ll never get it all packed up and ready to go when the truck is here to be loaded. The anxiety has been hanging around for a couple days now but today it really peaked and feeling my anxiety physically like that pushed me into a full on panic attack. I was having trouble breathing, my hands started shaking, I couldn’t think. I felt numb in that moment. I knew the feeling I was having, the feeling of my throat closing, that super tight chest that really makes you feel like your having a heart attack, so strong that it makes me nauseous. I knew it was a panic attack.
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I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t do this alone. So, not too alarm the kids I quietly got up, went to the kitchen to find my anti-anxiety meds and took one. Then I calmly walked down the hallway and woke hubby. The second he looked at me he knew something was wrong. I simply and very quietly asked him “could you please get up early and take care of the kids, I’m having a panic attack. I just took meds and just need to lay down.” Before getting up he just held me as my body shook and I cried in his arms.

Cagedmonkey has been through this with me before – when I didn’t know what they were. I used to have them often. It has been probably 11 years since I’ve had this kind of panic attack. We knew how to get me grounded again and let the meds kick in. I’m so incredibly blessed to have a hubby who loves me even though I’m broken. I’m not without imperfections but he doesn’t even see them and in fact loves me for them. Today I took a healthy step in going to him and asking for help. It’s not something I would have done before, I would have held it in and tried dealing with it on my own. I would have fallen into a deep depression. I love that we have a love and a trust with one another that we can come to each other with this kind of stuff and any kind of stuff.

Today I thank God for an amazing husband who is my hero. Thank you baby for being my strength when I’m weak.
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He Knows Just What I Need

Posted by Lady M on August 8, 2015
Posted in: D/s, Female Led Relationship, Marriage. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

I have been very stressed out with all of this moving stuff and trying to pack while still taking care of the kids and the house and functioning in this living space. Not to mention the kid with the medical issues having bigger issues this past week. Then the “normal” kid is having behavior issues, likely because of the move. I have a lot on me and my patience wears thin very quickly these days.

Yesterday, by the afternoon, I had lost all patience and was getting more and more irritable with things. As I said, the medical stuff was crazy and I just started to lose it. Cagedmonkey heard me starting to get very frustrated while he was trying to sleep in the bedroom and asked if I needed him to wake up. Normally, I would say no but I’m trying to change my “I don’t need help” way about myself and actually admit that there are times I need help. So I told him yes, I did want him to get up, even if it was just to take on some of the craziness with the kids.

Just before coming out of the bedroom, I was texting him telling him how frustrated I was and he texted me back and said, “Would you like to come here and take some of that out on my butt before I get up?”

Really?!?!

I love how he knows just what I need! I didn’t even text back, I ran down the hallway with a big smile on my face, went in the bedroom and spanked his sexy little ass for each of my frustrations.

My subby hubby is so amazing and this whole D/s and FLM thing is great because I get to take back my power and control with the help of my wonderful hubby when I feel like it’s been stripped away by the craziness of everyday life.

Even When I’m Not in the Mood

Posted by Lady M on August 7, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Marriage, Oral Sex. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

Last night I wasn’t really in much of a sex, tease, denial or any play kind of mood. With all the packing that needs to be done while still taking care of the regular house stuff, dishes, laundry, kids, etc I’m just feeling overwhelmed and not really “in the mood.” However, what I love about our relationship now is that, even when I’m not in the mood, I can still enjoy sexual intimacy and even quickly become in the mood.

Last night was cagedmonkey’s first night back to work after a long week and a half off. It has been so nice having him home and sleeping in bed with him and everything. It was hard to send him off to work again. Anyway, we were sitting there watching tv and he played some video games and, like I said, it wasn’t a particularly sexy time.  Just before it was time to get ready to go cagedmonkey had asked to taste me. Of course he could taste me! It really only took about 10 seconds of him gently kissing and licking my pussy for me to reach down, grab the back of his head and start grinding my pussy against his face.

That is what I love about us now. I really wasn’t at all feeling a desire but just something so little can flip that switch and all of a sudden I’m using his face as a fuck toy and rubbing my now wet pussy all over him just before he’s ready to walk out the door to work.

It’s just lovely, isn’t it?

Everything in Life Changes

Posted by Lady M on August 2, 2015
Posted in: Marriage, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , . 4 comments

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If you’ve been following along here on our journey you probably recall that cagedmonkey did the whole job hunting thing recently. Since we haven’t taken the time to post about all of the changes going on here, I thought I’d do that now.

A couple months ago now cagedmonkey started looking for a new job. For the past, almost, 4 years he’s been working midnights and furthering his education so that he could advance his career. Unfortunately there wasn’t an opportunity for him to advance at his current place of employment so he had to look elsewhere. Well a few weeks ago he did just that. He accepted a position for a supervisor job making more money and working on a day shift! So amazing! I’m super happy about that because that means I get cagedmonkey back in my bed every night! 🙂 This wasn’t an easy thing for cagedmonkey. He’s been at his job for over 12 years and he loves where he works. This is a positive change and a wonderful opportunity.

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What all that means is that we are relocating this whole production from New York to West Virginia! We will be on the east side of WV near the Virginia border. If you’re near there, please let us know, we really do love meeting new friends! First we will be dealing with all of this funeral stuff and then we will be busting some booty to pack up this apartment and move two and a half weeks after that.

As I mentioned yesterday about how we might have less posts coming up soon, I realized that it might be a little longer than that with a lull because of this move. Soon the toys will be packed away – certainly not the Chastity Cage haha – and we will have a lot less time for play but we will do our best to keep you up on the happenings around here. I certainly have no intentions of not teasing the hell out of CM over the course of all this. 🙂

Forever in Our Hearts and Never Forgotten

Posted by Lady M on August 1, 2015
Posted in: Marriage. Tagged: , . 10 comments

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I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this post all day. Last year, cagedmonkey was the one who wrote for me when I couldn’t. This morning we got the phone call that his mother has passed away. It’s been a sad day but a day of relief as well. His mom was not doing well the past couple of months. We’ve been traveling a bit to NYC recently knowing that she was not well.

She’s no longer in pain and no longer suffering through her days barely functioning. She’s in a much better place, with God and we are all happier for that. She was a great little lady with a lot of love that she gave so freely. We will certainly miss her craziness! 🙂

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Thank you to those who have already shared their condolences, we appreciate it more than you know. We do have to travel again now to be with our family so there will likely be a bit of a quiet here with the blog. I wouldn’t want anyone to think we’ve just up and disappeared! We’d never do that!