control

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I Need to Domme You

Posted by Lady M on November 29, 2017
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, FemDom, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . 6 comments

I realized this morning that I’m starting to feel my mood sink. We got a bit busy coming up to the holidays and some of my control turned way less sexual. The house is hard to keep up with when both of us are working and the kid’s are here, there and everywhere. My control has been a lot more clean this, do this, do that, this kid needs to be here or picked up at this time, type of stuff. While, yes, I love being in charge of everything, I also very much enjoy being in charge sexually and there hasn’t been much time for sexual control. Let alone, after working and coming home to cook and clean and run kids places, the energy level is depleted.

This morning I was sitting here after doing some cleaning and realized that I’m feeling a strong need to Domme cagedmonkey. I texted him this morning and told him, “I need to feel some power over you, I need you to be vulnerable to me. I need to feel you shuddering and whimpering beneath me.” Yeah so that’s where I’m at right now. I’m sitting on the couch fantasizing about him being bound in a vulnerable position where I can do whatever I want to him. Where I can play with whatever part of him I want, make him feel what I want. It could be good, amazing, teasing feelings or maybe I want to give him a little discomfort. I can feel my chest get tight when I think about being a little aggressive and rough with him, that’s how I know I need it… Not just want it! I want to feel him powerless and vulnerable to my touch. I really to want and need to feel him whimpering and begging because he knows I’m controlling every sensation he’s having. I need to feel that change in his body when he realizes there is no use trying to hold out. I am fantasizing about him being tired and used and “done” but I just pick up his head and make him eat my pussy more anyway. 

I want and need a good intense powerful night with my hubby. I’m going to ask, again, if Grandma can take the kids this weekend. I asked her a few days ago but she never got back to me about it. 

The Man Who Could Not Get Hard

Posted by cagedmonkey on November 11, 2017
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Wife Led Marriage. Tagged: , , , , . 3 comments

There once was a man who was unable to have an erection. It wasn’t for a lack of trying or ability; rather, it was for lack of opportunity. You see, this man could not get his dick hard because there was a steel cage locked around his penis at all times.

This steel cage prevented any and all erections, even the most intense and most frantic of them. No matter how strongly out how often he was sexually aroused – which was very strongly and extremely often, thanks to his beautiful and sexy dominating wife – he was not able to have a full and complete erection.

Oh, there were plenty of attempts: any time his wife would tease or tempt him with words or actions, his penis would try as much as it could to get hard. The steel cage would only allow the slightest growth, however, before squeezing back and holding him fast. He would be left throbbing in his cage, desperate for the littlest experience of sexuality, the most basic sexual ability that nearly almost ask men enjoyed but he was denied.

Orgasms were completely out of the question – unable to even get a hardon, orgasms were nowhere near the realm of possibilities. His focus wasn’t on his orgasms, despite the fact that he couldn’t remember the last time he had one. His desire was centered completely around his penis, the need to get hard, and the denial of the chance to do so.

Why on Earth would the woman want to keep her husband’s penis locked in a metal cage? Not only would it be impossible for him to get a full erection, but it would also render his penis inaccessible to her. Lucky for her, the man was very talented at pleasing his wife by other means, ways that did not involve the use of his penis. Not only that, but the woman also get pleasure from the sheer power and control she felt when her husband was desperate for an erection, but could not have one because she was keeping him locked.

The man had nobody to blame but himself, for it was him who asked his wife to use the chastity cage in the first place. It was also him that suggested the lengthy bit of chastity that he was now forced to endure. “Surely,” he thought, “she will not be able to keep me locked up very much longer than we’ve done in the past… she had difficulty reaching 3 weeks in earlier attempts.” But three weeks came and went, with no sign of wavering or weakening from his wife.

And, at four weeks, it was the same: not only was his wife happy keeping her husband in constant chastity, she was enthused by his frustration to continue even further.

This was like nothing he has ever experienced before. His penis felt as if it were constantly crying out to him for just a moment of freedom, just a second of time to experience the full arousal that has already been denied for so long. But he could do nothing about it, except wait and suffer.

His wife joked around as the days went by, contemplating pushing him farther and farther. How long would this go on? “I”m not even sure,” she replied. “We’ll just have to see.”

And so he waited. He waited for the erection he so desperately wanted and needed, with no idea of when the ordeal would end. He would eventually be able to get fully hard, but only when his wife would allow it. It would have to be soon, it couldn’t go on forever.

At least, that’s what he told himself…

Fantasy Fiction: By Any Means Necessary

Posted by cagedmonkey on October 4, 2017
Posted in: Fiction, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

Your fingertips tickle the bottom of my cock as it bobs in the air, searching for any type of sensation that will bring it over the edge. But you are fully in control, and you won’t give my cock the touches that it so desperately needs.

I am kneeling on the floor at the corner of the bed. You have tied my ankles together behind the foot of the bed and my wrists to the post above my head. You have also secured my chest to the post, and in my position I am unable to move or thrust my hips in any meaningful way. I am totally at your mercy, and you have spent the last hour or so enjoying it by relentlessly teasing me and edging me. Each time you touch my cock, my body shudders in anticipation and hope that you will finally make me cum. I have been dangling on the edge of orgasm for too long, and I only wish that there was something I could do to bring this torture to an end.

Every touch is a surprise due to the blindfold you have put over my eyes, keeping my senses in complete darkness. Your teasing fingers on my nipples make me gasp and my cock surges even harder, perhaps jealous of the attention my sensitive nipples are receiving. You have been kissing and licking my entire body, and I moan loudly each time your soft warm tongue touches my skin.

Your hands and lips leave my body, and quiet descends upon the room. Did you leave me here to stew in my own horniness? It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve done that. I didn’t hear you walk away, but I was breathing so heavy it would have been easy to miss.

Moments pass as my cock continues to throb in time with my heartbeat. Your teasing was so intense this time, barely giving me a moment in between edges for almost the entire time I’ve been tied here. Even in this moment of peace, I feel the incredible desire for an orgasm burning inside me.

I hear your footsteps as you walk back into the room. I feel you move in front of me, and suddenly your warm wet mouth surrounds my cock, sucking in the head with your tongue swirling around. I moan and I try to thrust forward, but the ropes hold me back. Your lips tighten around my shaft as you slowly pull your mouth back to the tip of my cock and slide forward again. As my cock sinks deeper into your mouth, I hear you whisper in my ear, “How does that feel, darling?”

“Wonderful, ma’am,” I reply, as…… wait…. what???

How are you whispering in my ear when my cock is in your mouth?!?!?!?

You chuckle; pretty much reading my mind, you say, “That’s right, darling, that’s someone else’s mouth on your cock right now. Once the shock settles in, I’m sure you’ll start wondering just who it could be….”

Of course, you are right – who could this possibly be? It’s hard to keep my thoughts straight as the tongue teases my poor defenseless cockhead. I try to wiggle free of the tickling, but I cannot.

“Hmmmm, who could possibly be sucking your big fat cock for me right now?”

It’s obviously someone we know, you wouldn’t allow this with anyone you didn’t fully trust. And it seems as though it’s someone who is well aware of my denial state, as they are trying to avoid pushing me too close to cumming.

“Here’s the fun part, darling – I am not going to give you any hints at all. I want you to be completely clueless as to who this is right now. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just a mouth – a mouth that I am using to tease the fuck out of you and blow your mind.”

Well, it’s definitely working. My mind is being pulled in what feels like fifteen different directions, but I very quickly start to associate the blowjob with the fact that this is YOU doing this to me. It may be another person physically touching me, but this is your plan, your teasing. The blowjob is just a conduit for you to tease me in ways I would almost never expect, and it’s making the tease even worse than it was before.

“So, here’s what I want,” you say. “I want to see just how bad my earlier teasing was for you to endure. I want to see just how badly you need to cum. In order to do that, I’m going to allow you to cum right now… but only if you want to.”

Ummm, why wouldn’t I want to?

“I want to see if I’ve made you so desperate to cum that you are willing to cum in a stranger’s mouth without even knowing who it is.”

Oh God…. my chest gets tight and I can’t breathe for a moment. What am I supposed to do?

“And don’t worry about me being upset. I put you in this position on purpose, this is what I want. If you want to cum that badly, I won’t be angry. In fact, it’s really MY fault for making you that desperate in the first place.”

Fuck, I can’t breathe.

“Think about it, though….  you must be so badly teased and needy and desperate to even be considering cumming in someone’s mouth without knowing a thing about them. Who they are, what they look like… you don’t have a clue, and this person is going to find out what your cum tastes like.”

You’re right…. after all of these surprises, now I honestly have no clue who it could be.

“It could be someone from the neighborhood, it could be someone you know from work…….”

Do I really need to cum this badly?

“Hell, I never even said it was a woman….”

WHAT????????????????????

“That’s right, darling…. I think I’ve made it clear – you don’t know a thing about this person. Like I said, it’s just a mouth. A warm, wet mouth that is willing to accept your load of cum. Are you that horribly desperate that you are willing to cum like this, in what is pretty much just a hole? You’d have to be almost dying of need to say yes to that….”

You’re right, I would…. “someone” is going to make me cum with their mouth. Am I that desperate to not care about who it is, or even what it is, just that I’m going to cum? Is that the only detail that matters to me at this moment?

“I’ll tell you one thing, though, this person is very good at following instructions; I can tell that they have been keeping you close to the edge this whole time without making you cum…. isn’t that right?”

You are driving me insane with the level of control you have over me right now.

“Such a slutty little cocksucker, too, ass is all pointed up in the air… so naughty.” I hear a smack and the mouth on my cock lurches forward. The person sucking my cock moans from your spank, and it vibrates my cock. I can’t help but shudder in response to the added stimulation.

“You really should see this… Oh, sorry darling, you can’t. You’ll just have to imagine it…”

Godddddddd, what the fuck do I do????

“Remember, darling, I wouldn’t put you in any position I wouldn’t want you in. I want this. I want you to be so bad off that you are willing to do this, because that means I made you that way. I teased you so badly that you just need to fucking cum and you don’t care how. So, what will it be darling? Do you want to cum for me?”

To say yes, it would mean than an orgasm is the most important thing in the world to me right now. I have want to cum so badly that I am willing to put aside anything else – no cares about who, what, when, where or how, and just cum. I’m scared to admit it….

“Yes,” I whimper.

“What was that?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“So just to be clear: I’ve turned you into such a cum-needy slut that you are willing to cum in this stranger’s mouth right here, regardless of who it could be? Have I tortured you that badly and made you THAT fucking horny?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Okay, then…. make him cum.”

I swear I can hear a devious smile in your voice, but I am quickly distracted by the increasing pace of the mouth moving up and down my cock. God, can I really do this? Can I really cum into the mouth of a stranger? The mouth is so warm and wet, and I need an orgasm so badly. Should I stop this? Am I having second thoughts?

No…. I want this. Actually, I’m beyond want… I need this. You’ve driven me insane and all I care about is cumming right now….

A few milliseconds before my mind blowing orgasm begins, the mouth releases my cock removes all sensation. I cry out in frustration as I hang on the edge of cumming. Seconds pass as I fight the impending ruined orgasm, which I know will be even more frustrating than all of the edges before it. I try and try to hold back, squeezing and grinding my teeth, trying as hard as I can to hold onto the orgasm I so badly want to experience in full….

I can only hold back for so long, and I’m beginning to lose my grip…

Just before I feel like I might have a handle on it, the tongue gives the undershaft of my cock one quick lick from base to tip. That does it – I lose my focus and I topple roughly over the edge. My cock pulses and throbs in the air, experiencing a ruined orgasm so frustrating that it’s almost painful. I’m nearly crying as I feel the pleasure of the orgasm slipping away.

“See?” you say, laughing. “Like I said – VERY good at following instructions.”

I can feel the cum dribbling out of my cock and down the shaft of my cock, almost like tears of frustration in defeat.

“I did say that they were going to taste your cum, though….”

Suddenly, the mouth is back on my cock, sucking hard and vacuuming the cum out from inside of me. It’s almost like post-orgasm torture, and I cry out as I try to escape with absolutely no success. I just have to endure it until you allow it to stop.

Thankfully, the post-orgasm torture only lasts for a few seconds before the mouth leaves my cock. I hear the two of you moving and getting ready to leave the room, but first you whisper in my ear, “That’s my good boy.” I can’t help but smile.

As you move to the door, I call out to you, “Ma’am? Who was it?”

“You’ll never know.”

Mail Chastity: What Do I Want?

Posted by cagedmonkey on May 21, 2017
Posted in: Mail Chastity, Male Chastity, orgasm control, Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , . 1 comment

On a recent post, Collaredmichael commented the following:

Do you find the perverse desire not to [cum] -in order to continue your streak of days without? It is something I seem to be experiencing – I want to cum but I don’t want to cum.

Short answer: I used to get this feeling, but not so much anymore.

I think, at one time, I felt the desire to keep pushing my denial farther and farther. Thinking about it now, it wasn’t so much of a desire to keep pushing it for a deeper intensity; it was more of an attempt to keep the sexual connection between ML and me. Since things have gotten much more healthier between ML and me in a sexual sense, I feel no desire to force it along anymore.

That’s not to say the feeling went away completely after things got better between us. When we attempted the full year of orgasm denial, of course I wanted to keep going without cumming. But that was the point of the exercise: just how long can we go? I think ML and I found out the answer to that.

At this point, I want my orgasms to be fully controlled by ML. That means not trying to “help my denial along” by resisting an orgasm and pushing my denial further; I’m in a state of mind now where I really do want to cum, but whether I do or not depends on what she wants. It wasn’t easy for me to get to this place mentally, but the work (and play) that My Lady and I have done has helped us get here.

Mail Chastity: Guilt

Posted by Lady M on April 6, 2017
Posted in: FemDom, KeyHolder, Mail Chastity, Male Chastity, Marriage, orgasm control, Orgasm Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments

I was asked this really great question recently so I thought I would take a minute to write here about it. I’m sure some of our readers who are in control would appreciate it. Then again, some of you in the submissive role may like to know this stuff too. 

“…doesn’t it make you feel bad sometimes when you deny your hubby for so so long? Do you ever feel guilty?”

There actually was a time, when we first started this whole chastity and longer term denial thing, that I would describe my feelings as guilt. Now that we are almost 4 years into this there are zero feelings of guilt. There doesn’t need to be any. 4 years ago my hubby asked me to take control of his sexual pleasure. He wanted me to be the one to decide if, when and how he would orgasm. I gladly accepted that role and took control over that pleasure for him. So why would I feel guilty about giving him something he wanted in the first place? That’s something us dominant types can forget sometimes… but when someone completely offers themselves to us we need to not feel guilty about accepting the responsibility.

Cagedmonkey naturally craves and needs to be controlled and I naturally crave and need to be in control. It makes us both feel fulfilled and content in our relationship and in our life. It fits us so well to accept these roles. 

So, in short, no I don’t feel bad or guilty about denying him orgasm or even keeping him locked in that steel cage and even controlling him to the point of when he gets a full erection. I love knowing that he is THAT controlled, down to something even HE can’t control! I love knowing he has a pretty constant reminder of me and the fact that I control him and he sexual organs and pleasure. It’s mine to enjoy, he gave me that. He offered me that gift and it’s one of the best things and shows such deep love and respect and, more importantly, trust. It makes me feel great, not guilty! 

Mail Chastity: A Crap Load of Questions

Posted by Lady M on November 15, 2016
Posted in: Mail Chastity, Male Chastity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 4 comments

Very recently Cagedmonkey and I have gotten a crap load of questions, lol and while some we answered specifically to those that asked already we thought the majority could be answered in a post in case any of your were interested in this stuff too. We always encourage people to ask questions and love taking the time to answer either privately or publicly so thanks to those who have asked. We appreciate your interaction and look forward to hearing from you again!! 🙂

Q: Do you see a time in your relationship when you’ll stop chastity?

A: Interesting question… NO! haha Cagedmonkey and I have actually talked about this a lot over the years and it’s comforting to both of us, I think, that neither of us want us to quit this or ever be done with the chastity. We have talked about, even as we age and may not be able to do some of the more hardcore things , we will continue and always have the chastity part of it all.

Q: Would you ever cuckold your husband while he is in chastity or is that something you are not into?

A: This is actually something we’ve talked about a bit. As far as the traditional (is it really traditional at all?) way of cuckolding, no, that is not something I would be willing to do. I am not really looking to have actual sex with other men. However, as we wrote in this post about, what we call, Pseudo-Cuckolding the whole idea of it is kinda hot and the little bit of jealousy of flirting with other men is a hot thing but neither of us have a desire for me to have sex with other men. Women on the other hand, that’s another story…

Q: What are your thoughts of ruined orgasm’s? do you do them, like them, hate them?

A:
Lady M – Oh I LOVE ruined orgasms and, of course, we do them! 🙂 They are really some of my favorite things in tease and denial. I absolutely LOVE when I can get CM right to the point of a ruined orgasm yet NOT give him one. That is a spot where I say I “broke it.” What that means is that I didn’t fully ruin his orgasm but his dick is all confused wondering what the fuck just happened and then I can practically use it as much as I want and he wont cum for a bit until his penis figures out it really didn’t cum! I’m totally smiling writing this and describing it!
CM – Yes, like ML said we do them and I hate them and hate how frustrating they are. I also try very hard not to have them but My Lady is extremely good at forcing them to happen whether I like it or not.

Q: Do you think chastity would work for anyone or does it take a certain relationship dynamic to make it work?

A: I think CM and I both agree on this that it takes a certain kind of person and relationship to actually enjoy chastity play. There has to be the right frame of mind, as we have said, chastity is not a lock it and leave it thing. There is work involved on both sides… unless of course being locked up and forgotten about is your thing. There is a LOT of emotional well being that needs to be considered when getting into chastity. It’s not just a steel (or plastic or resin) cage locked on your cock – there is a shit ton of mindfuckery that HAS to go along with it.

Q: “I just recently found your blog, and was wondering what your experience with the mature metal cage has been. Back in the day, we had a CB2000, but found it difficult to maintain long term chastity due to nighttime erections and swelling. Wondering if you have encountered these issues and how you dealt with it. Thanks.”

A: Mature Metal is really great, no buts about it (and, no, that’s not a paid advertisement, lol). It sounds like the problems you were having weren’t device related; nighttime erections are a pretty normal thing. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I need to do math in my head to get myself under control!

Swelling could be another issue – it could be normal attempted erections, but it also could be a sign that you need to adjust your cage measurements. If your cage is comfortable, it’s probably just that your cock wants to get hard but it can’t.

Q:  I noticed you have a long list of kinks that I absolutely love and a lot I’m curious about. Do you and your husband have any particular favorites?

A: I think our main kinks are tease, orgasm control, chastity, spanking and bondage… I mean we touch on a lot of different fetishes and kinks but those are probably most often.

Q: How is cagedmonkey enjoying his freedom since you let him cum after 10 months?

A: Oh, I’m sorry, were you under the assumption that I let cagemonkey out of his cage and left him unlocked after he got his long awaited orgasm? HAHAHA NOOOOOOO!!!!!! He was unlocked and I got what I needed, I did allow him to sleep uncaged that night but he was locked back up in the morning just like he is everyday. 🙂

 

Thank you all so much for the questions again! I love when we get a big rush of questions come in from all over the place, it’s so much fun to write about them but also it gets CM and I talking about all this stuff and keeps our communication open! Please, email, Twitter, Fetlife, where ever you contact us, please keep them coming. It’s extremely therapeutic!! 🙂

What Does Chastity Mean?

Posted by cagedmonkey on June 27, 2016
Posted in: Female Led Relationship, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Pictures, Sex, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , . 26 comments

Literal answer to rhetorical question alert!

chas·ti·ty
ˈCHastədē/
noun
the state or practice of refraining sexual intercourse.

As I was putting my cage on after shaving yesterday, I started thinking about exactly what this is that ML and I are doing. It’s easy to call it “chastity” but is it really that?

As you can see from the definition above (thank you, Google), chastity usually involves less (or perhaps even no) sex. Since ML began locking my cock in a cage, we’ve been have more – and BETTER – sex than ever. That’s like the opposite of chastity!

My Lady is in complete control of when and how much sex we have. And keeping my cock locked up all to herself gets her pretty damn horny, so we end up having sex pretty often. The cage doesn’t even stop her from having my cock when she wants it – she will have sex with even even while I’m caged, and she loves every minute of torturing me like that.

image

You cannot imagine how frustrating it is to feel her warm wet pussy on my cock, yet I’m still unable to get hard. My cock certainly tries, but always fails. ML has has many orgasms on my caged cock as I throb helplessly against the steel. It often feels like I could cum, but it’s only wishful thinking. I’m left as frustrated as ever, often with a painfully full cage as ML drifts off into blissful post-orgasmic sleep.

So, we will continue to call it “chastity,” even though it’s something different at the heart if it. It’s not about refraining from sex; if anything, it drives us to want it more. For us, it’s about control. ML controls me sexually, not just my orgasms but even my erections. She will have sex with me when she wants, whether she allows me to have a erection or not.

Tease Control Denial from a Distance

Posted by Lady M on February 9, 2016
Posted in: FemDom, Orgasm Denial, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

The other day I had an amazing amount of fun teasing hubby while I was out. He happened to have one of those rare days off during the week – and the kids finally were at school all day – but I had an appointment to get myself all prettied up and get my hair done. Hubby, rarely, if ever, gets time in the house alone so this whole day worked out pretty well. Usually when he has a day off and the kids aren’t home we scramble to get in whatever playtime we can together. This time, though, rather than breaking out the bondage toys and all that we just both enjoyed a day without kids. He got to hang out for a couple of hours at home relaxing and playing some video games (the kind you can’t play in front of the kids) and I went to my hair appointment.

Don’t think, for a second, that I left him home all denied and crazy to fend for himself. He had tasks to do for me. The first thing he did before he even got out of bed that morning was use my wand to bring himself to the edge while in his cage. Just before it was time for me to head out, I had him go plug his sexy little ass with the njoy plug and take off his cage. While I was gone he had other instructions to follow.

I sat there in the salon chair with my stylist behind me, every 20 mins looking at my phone waiting for the pictures to come through, hoping she didn’t see pictures of rock hard, horny cock in my text messages. While I was gone, cagedmonkey was to stroke himself and edge himself, holding out the edge for 1 full minute. Each time he did this (every 20 mins) he was to send me pic and video proof and no two pictures could look the same. Once in awhile I would give him further instructions, things like doing it while standing and facing the window or I would describe a fantastic scene where he was doing me from behind, bouncing against my nice soft round ass, telling him he’d love to pull out and feel and see his hot cum shooting all over it.

You know, stuff like that! 🙂 This continued for the entire almost 4 hours I was gone and just before the end of it he was begging me to stop stroking his cock. I find that adorable and it makes me giggle to think of all those times he’s begging to be touched while locked in the cage that I brought him to the other extreme of being to STOP touching!

He Said, She Said: Some of the Psychology Behind our D/s Relationship

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 21, 2015
Posted in: He Said She Said, Marriage, Sex. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 2 comments

Recently, cagedmonkey and I ended up with some extremely rare alone time and we got in some playtime. We’ve needed this time together for awhile since we moved and it just happened to work out that we got it. We both wanted to take a few minutes to explain why this time is important to us as a kinky couple as well as for each of us emotionally. It actually might help others understand why the like to do some of the things they like to do sexually. A lot of times it comes down to healing from our past. Please understand we are not professionals, we have never claimed to be, we simply have worked hard on ourselves and our relationship over the years and have learned a lot. We love to share our thoughts and views on things in hopes that it might help someone out on their journey!

In therapy there is something called “Act it Out” exercises. We have never actively done this kind of therapy but we have read about it in the past couple years and discussed it’s benefits with our therapist. Cagedmonkey and I have realized how helpful this kind of therapy can be for people who have had childhood trauma and/or abuse in whatever form. There are so many ways a kid can be screwed up by things, whether it’s physical or emotional. Most of the time, abuse survivors will hold back, hide, fear expressing their feelings or being themselves and sometimes even end up losing relationships in their lives that are important because they don’t know how to show who they really are. There are therapists out there who incorporate acting exercises into therapy sessions to help abuse survivors to come out from behind the curtain and face their fears and their feelings. That’s the simple version of it because I don’t want to turn this post into a REALLY long post on psychology. As always, if you want to know more about “Act it Out” exercises please do some googling! 🙂

I’m sure you can imagine how the whole “Act it Out” thing comes in handy in a kinky relationship. It addresses all those sexual feelings we may feel embarrassed by or afraid to admit, even to ourselves. Having a safe partner to act things out with is crucial. Whether you have a trusted sex therapist to talk to about these things or just awesome communication with your partner – either way gives you the release you may need, to work through some of the bottled up feelings and fears you have hidden away inside.

He Said: Some people might think it’s kind of crazy, how ML and I use our “mental issues” and our traumatizing pasts as part of our sex lives. I wouldn’t suggest just anyone trying it; ML and I wouldn’t go this deep without having really strong communication between us, otherwise the potential for hurting each other would be too great.

My Lady can explain to you how I fit her needs better than I can, but I’ll just say that I take great pleasure in being what she needs. As for my needs being filled, ML represents a way for me to make up for past mistakes.

To give enough background for this without getting too deep or wordy, I’ll start by saying that I spent a good part of my childhood getting away with things. I was a “mama’s boy” and the youngest in my family, which basically meant I was able to do whatever I wanted without worrying about the consequences. It’s a good thing I wasn’t too much out of control, otherwise I could have ended up in some real bad situations.

Anyway, the kink that ML and I share gives me a chance to make up for the discipline I missed. She is the firm, demanding, “mother-like” figure I needed as a child, only now she uses her control in a sexual manner.

It sounds totally fucked up… and maybe it is. Maybe it’s crazy for ML to take her anger against men out on me, or for me to look to her to make me pay for mistakes I made years ago. But we both know that it is a safe way for us to work through our issues and heal old wounds and have some damn good sex at the same time. The mental/emotional connection that we have during it makes everything so intense and amazing.

 

She Said: I’ll take a minute to get a little personal with you all to help you understand why this Domme/sub relationship we have and the things we do are so incredibly helpful for me. When I was a kid I was always put down, told I was not good enough and that I would never have anything good because I didn’t act a certain way or look a certain way. On top of that I was sexually abused as a young child so I’m sure you can imagine the demons I have hiding inside of me. I have found during this journey with my wonderful, amazing husband that I need the man that he is. I need a man who is a MAN, who can show me how he loves me for who I am and how I am and how I look. I also need a man who is willing to submit to me and let me control, at times, even the little things. I was made to feel so worthless and pointless as a kid and teenager, not to mention completely helpless by an older man. Now I get to face the fear that those things are really true about me and I get to use the kink that I enjoy to help me dig through the baggage I carry from childhood.

When I am dominating my hubby and controlling him I feel like I am being listened to. When I tell him (politely yet demanding) to do something and he says “Yes, ma’am,” I feel important and worthwhile. I feel like I have something to give, like what I say and do means something. When I control him, even the little things, it makes me feel more powerful than that little girl who sat there being told she would never amount to anything because she wasn’t pretty enough or thin enough. I feel more powerful than the child who was beaten because she “couldn’t do anything right,” because she “didn’t clean that right,” and would never get a husband because she’s “too fat.” Yes, seriously I was told those things and so many other horrible things you may wonder why in the fuck I even still talk to my mother. After the welts she left on my back from not doing things just the way she wanted them done.

This is sexual side of things makes me feel even more powerful. After feeling so completely helpless as a child by this older man in my life, you can only imagine the feelings I have and the emotions inside that come from dominating a man sexually. How it feels to force HIM to do things he maybe doesn’t want to do, to force HIM to take what I give him and make HIM feel completely helpless because of me. I get off so very much on feeling that power, of making him take things from me and causing that reaction in him. Those moans, those whimpers and the begging and pleading with me, the one who is controlling his pain or his pleasure. It’s ME who’s got this big strong man where I want him forcing him to endure whatever I want because in that moment, I’m the stronger one. I’m the more powerful one. Perhaps not physically stronger but mentally and emotionally, I’m the one with all the power. I say what happens and when it stops. It fuels me and gives me back what was ripped from away from me as a child. My identity, my life, taken away when I was so small. In those few moments when I’m grabbing my husbands throat and making him do what I want, or making him feel what I want him to feel, it gives me back the power of myself.

 

I hope by both of us writing this out for you guys helps you get to know us a little bit better and helps you when you worry about some of the things you may like sexually. It’s ok to like them and it’s perfectly fine to Act it Out with someone safe!

The Morning After

Posted by cagedmonkey on December 4, 2015
Posted in: Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial, Sex, Tease & Denial. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a Comment

After a late night of teasing me and edging me over and over without mercy, My Lady was still not through torturing me.

(By the way, if you haven’t seen her post yet, click on that link… seriously, there is an AMAZING picture of ML’s tits posted there!)

ML once again took advantage of my unlockedness to tease me in the morning… from the very moment I woke up, in fact. She was stroking me, pushing me to yet another frustrating edge. After the edging from the night before, I was beginning to feel like I couldn’t handle any more. My body wanted to cum… my cock NEEDED to cum…. but My Lady wouldn’t allow it.

ML gave me three more edges before it came time for me to head to work. But she wasn’t done with me yet.

One thing I truly appreciate is the level of trust ML and I share in our chastity relationship. ML knows how devoted I am to being a “good boy” for her, so she feels comfortable leaving me unlocked if she is not directly with me – if it suits her needs, which it certainly did today.

ML instructed me to make sure that my cock stayed hard for the entire ride to work, which just happens to last about an hour or so. “Squeeze it, stroke it, do whatever you have to do,” she told me. So I ended up having to play with my cock for the next hour while I drove to work, desperate to cum but not allowed to. When I texted ML that I had gotten to work safely, she demanded three edges from me before I locked myself back up. I had to wait until about a half hour into my shift before I could stuff my poor teased cock back into its cage.

These edges are really driving me crazy! I do enjoy when ML touches me and teases me because it feels so fucking good, but eventually the frustration of being stimulated so much without orgasm begins to be too much. This, of course, is when ML enjoys asserting her control and forcing me to endure even more. I truly do want the teasing to stop at that point, whether she lets me cum or not. But I want it to be her choice – under her control – more than I want it to just happen. So I keep taking as much as she gives me.

What choice do I have?